ASK THE EXPERT: Getting babies to sleep during the day can be quite a struggle, writes DAVID COLEMAN.
MY 10-MONTH-OLD son has been sleeping from 7pm to 7am for the past three months. I know I’m lucky compared with other parents but I’ve been struggling with daytime naps since he was born – something which affects his whole day and mine. We have two problems really: getting him to sleep and getting him to stay asleep for longer than half an hour.
At first, rocking him in the Moses basket was the best way to get him to sleep, but he would often cry and cry before nodding off. As he got older, walking him in the buggy was the best way, but again he would often cry, and always wake after 30 mins (usually just as I got home to try to get a nap myself!).
When he wakes up in the afternoon, I don’t feel he is refreshed. He is often clingy and cranky and it’s a struggle to get him to dinner and bed-time.
Once he has had this short afternoon nap, it’s very difficult to get him to do another one. On the very rare occasion that he has slept longer, it makes a big difference to his mood. Do you think there is anything I can or should do?
He is otherwise a very lively, alert, curious and good-natured baby. I know that every baby is different, but do you think there is a minimum quantity of daytime sleep that babies his age need? Do you think his daytime sleep cycle is too short? Is the crying for daytime naps ever going to end? Incidentally, at bedtime he is a completely different baby – he never cries going to bed and never has! I’m so confused!
You can’t beat the vagaries of babies and sleeping! Anight-time sleep cycle of 12 hours is very normal and healthy for a 10 month old. As are short 30-minute naps in the day. Generally, babies his age sleep for about 12-15 hours in a 24-hour period and most of them have slotted into a clear day/night rhythm where the majority of the sleep is taken at night.
On that basis I wouldn’t be too worried about the volume of sleep he is getting, it sounds like it is averaging out okay for him.
Also, at his age the sleep cycle from drifting off to sleep to falling into a deep sleep and then back to Rapid Eye Movement sleep (REM sleep) is about 30-40 minutes. In a 12-hour night he will go through 20-24 of these cycles. However, it explains his short naps in the day because it seems like, during the day, your son wakes as soon as he hits the REM portion of his sleep. For some reason, he then can’t soothe himself back to sleep even if he wanted to.
If you watch him for the full time he is asleep in the day you will see him becoming restless after about 30 minutes, his limbs will start to move or twitch and his eyes will be moving under his closed lids.
These are the indicators that he has moved on from the deep sleep part of the cycle. At this point he wakes and has no desire to soothe himself back to sleep.
Sometimes it is possible to soothe your child back to a deeper level of sleep by gently stroking him, saying “shush” gently or by placing a hand on his tummy or back. This allows him then to have another full cycle of 30-40 minutes and then he will awake, possibly more refreshed.
In your situation, however, since he has a great habit of falling asleep in his cot in a very relaxed manner I would capitalise on that. He obviously has the capacity to soothe himself and so what you need to do is to re-create the night-time environment in the day.
So, if you have a bedtime routine then use it (without maybe a bathing element). Put him down for his daytime nap in his cot, rather than taking him out in his buggy. If his room is naturally dark at night, then get blackout blinds to recreate this in the day.
The other thing that may be relevant in the daytime is that you may have missed his signals that he is getting tired and so, by the time you are getting him out in the buggy he is over-tired or on his second wind.
Perhaps use his digestive rhythms to bolster his desire to sleep by putting him down for a nap after food – we can all feel a bit more somnolent after eating!
I would be surprised if he gets upset once his surroundings are as comfortable and consistent as they are at night. He seems to have great security at night and so should have the same feeling in the day if the environment is similar.
Indeed your new problem that may emerge is that he sleeps too long and will need to be woken so that you can still keep him in his habit of sleeping longer at night.
- David Coleman is a clinical psychologist, author of
Parenting is Child's Playand broadcaster with RTÉ television-
- Readers’ queries are welcome and will be answered through the column, but David regrets he cannot enter into individual correspondence. Questions should be e-mailed to: healthsupplement@irishtimes.com