To greet or not to greet: your opinion

In last week's HealthSupplement, Dr Muiris Houston reported on a US survey on how doctors should introduce themselves

In last week's HealthSupplement, Dr Muiris Houston reported on a US survey on how doctors should introduce themselves. We asked how you like to be greeted by your doctor - using your first name, last name or both? And how should doctors introduce themselves. Below we publish some of your responses

Dear Dr Houston,

No, I do NOT wish to be addressed by my first name on first meeting a doctor. I consider it a gross impertinence to be addressed by my first name in banks, etc . . . the use of first name is something that is permitted, not taken as a given. I am 59 years old and it so vexes and insults me to be addressed as Mary by twerps in the bank.

I expect that a doctor on first meeting should shake hands and introduce themselves as Doctor Mr X whether the doctor be male or female.

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After that both parties can come to an agreement about the mode of address to the patient.

Pompous or what?

I am married to a doctor, retired consultant anaesthetist since 2006 and to this day I address some of his former colleagues and bosses as doctor. If I met colleagues in the hospital (bringing up Tom's forgotten lunch box/visiting a patient), I always addressed even juniors and nursing staff by their titles. Outside the hospital, depending on the level of acquaintance, we used first names.

My now grown-up children always address their father's colleagues by their title, even when they call to our house and I note they have never been given leave to address them otherwise and my children would not expect it.

Does this formality create a professional barrier? Not a bit of it. How can a doctor expect a patient to carefully follow instructions if they are on first name terms?

First names imply friendship and while your doctor can be your best friend in so many ways it is a friendship based on healthcare giving, not the same as someone you shared a desk with at school.

I used to be mocked by some in the neighbourhood by my insistence on children addressing me as Mrs Johnson and my children always and to this day, unless given permission, address the neighbours by the title of Mr or Mrs. As the years passed I noticed a change in attitude . . . and it is a compliment to a grown-up child to be told "You are quite grown up now so call me Mary" - it is a rite of passage.

Till the day they died and I a grown woman, many of my late parents' friends were addressed as Mr and Mrs and in fact they liked it.

It was a form of respect which did not preclude warm friendship and an affectionate greeting.

There! I did notice in the article that 50.04 per cent would choose first names, that means that the other percentage of 100 are like me - old fashioned/maybe a bit pompous - but I regard all this as courtesy and respect.

With good wishes and the compliment that I always enjoy your writing in The Irish Times.

Mary G Johnson (you may address me as Mary)

Dear Sir,

My dad recently spent some time being treated for cellulitis in the Regional Hospital in Limerick. He is nearly completely blind and is deaf in one ear.

On one occasion his consultant and registrar walked into his room, did not introduce themselves or say who they were; did not address my father by his name or speak to him directly; and after speaking to each other over his head for a couple of minutes left the room. My father was understandably upset as was the patient in the bed beside him by their rude manner.

So do I think doctors should introduce themselves and address their patients by their names (first or last I don't think that matters)? Of course I do, it's called common courtesy.

Deirdre Riordan

Dear Dr Houston/Muiris,

I am a social worker at Dalkey Day Care Unit (HSE) and I read the findings of your article for six clients today.

We were interested to note in your article that those older patients were less likely than younger patients to want a physician to shake their hand.

We had six female respondents aged 71, 76, 81, 88, 90, 92 and they all stated a preference for be greeted by their first name (in this day and age!), for the doctor to use both their names and to have a hand shake on their first meeting.

The experience of Irish doctors was that they do this, but are not as likely to shake hands on first meeting. We wondered if this has something to do with the use of rollators and sticks among the older age groups - their right hand being occupied on greeting.

Thanks for the article which provided some lively discussion.

Anna O Laoghaire

Dear Sir,

The first time I meet a doctor, I like to be greeted formally by my surname and I like to shake hands. Thereafter/on subsequent visits, I require less formality - first name and a hello suffices. In fact, the last time I had occasion to meet a consultant, I interrupted his delivery of diagnosis to my husband, to introduce myself and shake hands. He had never met either of us before and I found it strange to be talking to somebody about serious issues without first having introduced myself.

I think a greeting/introduction is a very basic element of human interaction, particularly on a formal level.

I am a teacher, I would never talk to a parent without first having introduced myself formally and shaken hands. Doctors take note!

Regards,

Ita Teegan

Dear Sir,

Doctors should always address patients formally, eg "How do you do, Mr Bloggs. I am Dr (Professor, Mr) Blank" without the use of first names.

Patients should always address the doctor formally, eg "Dr (Mr, Professor) Blank".Handshakes before or after a consultation are inappropriate.

The only exceptions to the above rules would be in the case where a doctor knows a patient socially, eg through membership of the same golf or sailing club.

Robert Smyth

Dear Sir,

The doctor should introduce himself using his first and last name and with a firm handshake, address you the patient by your first and last name and then depending on your age address you as Miss Johnstone or Mrs whatever.

A young doctor should never address an older person by their first name. It is up to you the patient to ask the doctor to address you as Mary or Mona or whatever; it is not his call.

During a formal consultation the doctor should always be addressed as doctor or Doctor Murphy. A first name would not be appropriate nor professional. It is not a hairdressing salon.

Mona Johnstone

Dear Sir,

I would like my first name reserved for friends and family. It is traditional courtesy to address another person using a title such as Mr, Ms, etc particularly when meeting them for the first time. It has always been normal for the doctor to introduce himself as Dr So and So. The Monsieur/Madame traditionally used in France is very reassuring.

Margaret

Dear Sir,

I most emphatically wish to be addressed as Mrs Jelley by all professionals especially by all members of the medical profession. This also is my feeling with regard to dentists, bank staff and others too many to specify. I do not use my first name, am known by my middle name and will give the nod to those who may use it.

This was a survey carried out in the US where manners are not the same as here.

Even when my GP of many years standing calls me by my middle name, it would not occur to me to address him by his Christian name even though I am quite sure he would not mind.

Valerie Jelley

Dear Sir,

Did it really take a study to show that a doctor should greet you politely?

Conventions of course change. Up until the early 1980s it was quite common to greet or introduce people in a formal way using titles or Mr, Mrs, etc. Those days are going, if not gone already. When I worked in a senior management position in a large company I never introduced myself as Mr Perry and I would never expect people to call me Mr Perry regardless of the position the other person held. This convention should of course extend to GPs and the rest of the medical profession.

Those doctors and the like who insist their name is to be prefixed by doctor or professor should really get counselling. Do you really need people to call you by your professional job title first? If this is politeness, then why do we not extend this to other professions such as builders, butchers and candlestick makers.

Let's stick to plain old first names. I trust that the person sitting next to me in the surgery really is a doctor.

Dave Perry

Dear Sir,

I think it really depends on how often you see the doctor. I would find it odd if my doctor addressed me as Maeve when I haven't seen him since my check-up last year. On the other hand, if my daughter's paediatrician didn't remember her name or use it when we see him fairly regularly, I'd also find that odd. When our daughter was born, our paediatrician came to our hospital room to examine her. I already knew him because he is also my GP, but my husband had never met him. He said hello to me, admired the baby and then approached my husband saying, "hi, I'm Mike Donnelly". My husband (who isn't a huge fan of doctors) has been completely at ease with him ever since.

On the other side, I would never address my doctor as anything but Dr, as I would my bank manager, teachers, etc.

Maeve O'Connor