With the new economic climate, the hype surrounding First Holy Communion has been spirited away by pragmatic parents, writes SHEILA WAYMAN
WITH HER eldest child making his First Communion on May 10th, Lorraine Gleeson admits that initially she was “sucked in” by some of the secular hype surrounding this religious milestone.
Back in January, the mother of two travelled from Baltinglass in west Wicklow to have eight-year-old Eoin fitted for his First Communion suit in John Laurence’s shop on Thomas Street, Dublin.
“I don’t know why I went in January. I was listening to people who were saying you have to get out there before everything is gone. But that’s definitely not true.”
They picked out a lovely suit for €320 and she took a photo of him in it with her phone before placing a deposit for it. But “as the weeks went by, I kept looking at the picture on my phone and saying to myself, ‘you are absolutely crazy paying this money; he looks like a miniature old man in it’.”
Her husband, David, she points out, would think twice about spending that sort of money on a suit for himself. And this was for an eight year old, who would wear it for an hour at the church.
“We had paid €150 deposit off it but I knew in my heart of hearts that I was doing the wrong thing.” Without telling David, she went off one Saturday with Eoin and found him a much cheaper outfit, a beige blazer and brown trousers, in a shop in Naas.
“Still very dressy but it does not make him uncomfortable. Some little boys look nice in suits, but he just looked ridiculous.” Thankfully, she says, John Laurence’s refunded their money even though it was not obliged to.
Originally from Dublin, she finds it is her fellow Dubliners rather than the locals in west Wicklow who make a big deal about the First Communion preparations. She tries to keep out of the quizzing about where did you get what and for how much.
“The way some people go on about it, you would think they are preparing for a wedding. We’re trying to keep it as low-key as possible, but I find the madness of parents at the school is unbelievable. It’s a form of peer pressure.”
The recession will undoubtedly contribute to a scaling down of celebrations for the more than 50,000 children who will make their First Communion next month. Many parents, as well as schools and parishes, will be relieved at the move away from the ostentatious, “mini-wedding” style which flourished during the time of the Celtic Tiger.
Talk of false tans, fake nails, limousines to the church, even helicopter rides, and lavish parties afterwards, made the majority tut and spurred a minority to splash out further. In 2006, the Minister for Health, Mary Harney, ordered a consultation on sunbeds after she said she had come across young children who were using them to get a tan for their First Communion.
“I don’t care what anybody else’s child is wearing or what they’re doing,” says Gleeson. “I only care about my own.”
Being religious herself, she is looking forward to what will be a special day. While she knows some families are going to hotels for a €35-a-head, sit-down meal, or having large parties at home with entertainers for the children, she is happy to be having about 10 immediate family members back to the house.
“People don’t even want to go to these things,” she comments.
The only thing Eoin has asked for is a bouncy castle in the back garden, which is going to cost €170. He is interested in the religious aspect of the day and is forever asking questions about God and the afterlife, she explains, although he would not be particularly fond of going to Mass.
She is not going to allow him even count his Communion money, “because they go into school and say ‘How much did you make?’ I can not stand that. He’ll be saying, ‘I don’t know how much I made because my mean mammy wouldn’t let me count it’! Some of the kids are going around saying they made more than €1,000 for their Communion. I am new to it but I am actually shocked.”
She will let Eoin spend about half his money and she’ll put the other half in his savings account.
At least she won’t have to worry about clothes for Eoin’s Confirmation because in the local school they wear albs over the uniform for that ceremony. She would love to see that done for First Communion too.
“It would be brilliant and we would not have any of this nonsense.”
Perhaps all parishes around the country should have followed the lead of four parishes in Bray, Co Wicklow, where, after extensive consultations with the schools and parents, white, cotton, full-length robes have been provided for all the girls and boys making their First Communion since 1993. It is the same for Confirmation. Parents are asked for a donation of €20 towards cleaning and wear and tear of the robes.
“Admittedly most of the girls wear dresses under the robes,” says Father John O’Connell, who retired as parish priest from the Holy Redeemer parish last year, “but that’s up to themselves. The public display in the church is no longer a fashion parade, they are all dressed the same.”
Liz Reynolds, who co-ordinates the First Communion preparations in the Holy Redeemer parish, remembers that parents were reluctant at first to go along with the idea of robes.
“You really can’t blame them; everybody has lovely memories of their own First Communion and they really were afraid we were going to ruin it on them!”
But not only do the children look angelic in the robes, another big advantage is that the boys are equal to the girls on the day.
“Up to that, if you had twins, a girl and a boy, everybody would look to see what the girl was wearing and nobody would look at the boy. It sounds awful, but that was the reality of it because the focus was on the clothes. We are trying to bring the emphasis back to the sacrament.”
Her own three sons were relieved to wear smart but comfortable tracksuits under the robes.
“We are not kill-joy police,” Reynolds stresses, but robes give people the option of keeping it very simple on the day. “There is no sense of competition.”
Four years ago the principal of St Paul’s Primary School in Portlaoise, Des Sutton, looked around the church at First Communion and felt a “ridiculous” amount of money was being spent on clothes, so he proposed to the parents’ council that the boys wear their uniforms in future. It was not compulsory, but after the first year most parents were very happy to go along with it.
However, after three years of this, the parents have decided to revert to the boys’ own clothes this year because the school has since switched to its tracksuit as the main uniform, explains Sutton, and they felt that it was not appropriate for the occasion.
Diarmuid Fennell, who owns DKids clothes shop in Portlaoise, is certainly happy to be back selling suits to the pupils. He says the recession has definitely affected people’s spending on First Communion.
“We have sold a lot more accessories this year which is a sure sign that people are lending dresses or passing them down from one child to the next. They buy the new accessories to ‘dicky’ them up.”
Fennell, who also owns the JenJoe4Kids shops in Naas and Tullamore, says they are not stocking dresses that cost more than €390 this year and most would be in the €199-€229 range. Suits for the boys range from €99-€149.
At Jas Fagan Master Tailors’ Communion shop on Thomas Street, Dublin, Leonard Fagan reports that business is only a bit down this year. While parents may be cutting down on the expensive “afters”, they will always want to dress their children up well on the day, he points out.
“That’s the most important part and after that they will probably cut back,” he suggests. A Communion outfit consisting of a three-piece suit, shirt and tie, ranges in price from €350 to €425, and none of their customers are complaining, he says.
Having taken the bulk of their orders from January to the end of March for up to 400 boys’ suits, Fagan and the staff are “flat to the boards” now making up the suits and catering for all the final fittings.
Cream suits are popular, also a lot of beige and brown. The shop used to offer suits in six to eight colours; now there are 32 shades to choose from.
Boys today certainly seem to know what they want, he adds. No longer is it the mammies who do all the talking.
Caroline Elliott, who runs the Elliott Chambers dress design business in Goatstown, south Dublin, with her sister Suzanne Chambers, also finds their First Communion customers are adamant about what they will or will not wear.
“They don’t want puffy dresses, but rather straight, slim-line dresses. If the fabric is itchy, there is no earthly way they will wear it.”
Recognising that clients were likely to be more cost-conscious this year, Elliott Chambers decided to stock slightly cheaper dresses and the average price is now €250.
“People find that quite okay,” she says. Add in shoes (€45), and then some accessories such as a tiara (€45), veil (€40), bag (€25), gloves (€15) and tights (€5), and you are looking at well over €300.
However, Elliott says she has had a number of mothers in who have paid up to €700 for dresses with shoe-string straps elsewhere and are now desperately looking for a jacket to go over them because the husbands are going mad!
She always asks customers about their plans for the day and a lot more are having gatherings at home this year rather than going out.
“It is a once-in-a-lifetime event,” Elliott adds, “but people are not going as mad as they have been.”
swayman@irishtimes.com