HEARTBEAT:Almost a perfect week in Kerry - but always watch for the banana skin, or the bearded men in re and white
IT WAS almost a perfect week in Kerry, with little wind and warm sunshine. I saw the moon and stars at night, conspicuous by their absence in our supposed summer.
When I first came here, the night sky and the broad band of the Milky Way were truly awesome. Now, as in many places, light pollution has spread its pale hands over the darkness, lessening the visual impact.
There are many aspects to this, however. Lights mean people and repopulation of an area abandoned through privation and poverty and this has to be good.
Nonetheless, I wonder what led the folk across the water from me on the Ring of Kerry to install arc lights which happily globally warm all night. I felt it might have to do with Martians landing, but the Highest Authority only gave me a strange look.
I swam every day and in response to questions described the water as refreshing. This is code for "bloody freezing but I'm not going to admit it". I choose to believe that it is good for me, but am quite aware that a counter view feels that such behaviour could knock years off your life.
Besides, such pessimists would point out that you never know what's in the water nowadays, holding out Galway as an example. I have to concede that nasty effluents have infiltrated our groundwater and thence our rivers and lakes and thus to the sea, in this summer of incessant rain.
The downpours overwhelmed our drainage capacity and our sewerage systems in many parts of the country. Yes, I am talking about Ireland in 2008. We are supposed to forget, of course, that the unplanned, uncontrolled frenzy of the tax break-fuelled building extravaganza led to this situation.
I wondered gloomily about the return of diseases long eradicated by good public health, such as typhoid and cholera. Then I relaxed knowing that we have two saving graces. We have the Greens in Government and we have the Minister for Trolleys and the HSE to look after us if such plagues strike.
Well, sort of look after us, because it was all at the planning stage, and then the money ran out and now the realisation of the plans will have to wait for the next boom. When that comes we'll have a wonderful service with primary care fully "rolled out" (oh God), networking of hospitals, strategies, centres of excellence.
Best of all we'll have 2,000 new consultants working away in these state-of-the-art "hospitals in the air" and Lady MacBeth-like obsessively washing their hands every few moments and looking after your every need flawlessly, until you bound out of your single room, cured and set fair to live forever.
Ah, the Greens: we're lucky to have them and they'll be able to explain to us how the warm dry drought-ridden summers we've been led to expect by the doomsayers of man-made global warming have failed to materialise.
I predicted facetiously that somebody would spring out of the woodwork carrying an umbrella and preach conservation at us. I was right.
After 10 days' solid sunshine here, some fields are still waterlogged. Perhaps we should increase our reservoir capacity to utilise the rainy days to protect against future dearth? Before we even do that however, we'll have to fix the pipes and distribution systems and ensure the water quality. How're ye all doing in Galway?
At the outset I said it was almost a perfect week. All through the locality, in houses, shops, in fields and on lampposts were the Green and Gold colours of the Kingdom, Ciarraí. Jerseys were worn by the young and not as young as the county prepared once more to receive the Sam Maguire Cup.
There was no possibility of there being any other outcome to this two-horse race and to express doubt, especially if you were not born and bred among the faithful, was to risk life and limb, figuratively of course.
All-Ireland final day in the afternoon - only the dogs and a few tourists were abroad. Those not gone to collect the Cup in Dublin were gathered in pubs, clubs and homes basking in the prospect of imminent victory. It's always nicest to look at a match when you know you're going to win! Well, the best laid plans went awry and presumption was punished by the men of Tyrone. It is best not to dwell on this calamity save to say 1) we'll be back next year, and 2) never ever say "it's all for the best, it wouldn't do if the same team won every year''.
As for myself, with two sons-in-law from Tyrone I'll just grit my teeth, change my will and ignore the e-mail received from one: "Is it true Christmas is cancelled in Kerry this year, that they can't handle men dressed in red and white with beards?" Lastly, I must whisper this: on the day, the better team won. Now back to the world.
• Maurice Neligan is a cardiac surgeon