NO:Contrary to what the 'milk mafia' insists, a mother's bond with her baby is just as strong if she does not breastfeed
BRITISH SINGER Lily Allen caused a Twitter sensation recently when she tweeted that she wasn’t intending to breastfeed her soon-to-be-born baby.
The banter began when writer Caitlin Moran replied to one of Lily’s tweet-stories about walking down the road showing her underwear with: “Wait until you start breastfeeding. I’ve got off the bus with a tit hanging out.”
Lily replied to Caitlin’s tweet: “I’m not going to breastfeed.”
It was as if she’d declared she intended to have her child beheaded at birth.
Instantly, hundreds of her Twitter followers were warning her to “never admit that publicly” and telling her she better pray that the “milk mafia” were not listening.
Minutes later, she came back saying that she’d been joking and was in fact intending to breastfeed.
It was just absolutely unthinkable that she wouldn’t. But why?
My son was born four months ago and I decided before his birth that I wasn’t going to breastfeed. I wasn’t breastfed, neither was my husband, and it was something which we didn’t feel was necessary.
I’m fully aware that to almost every person I’ve encountered since, particularly medical staff, I’ve been judged as selfish, shallow and pretty much not the highest standard of mother. That hurt a lot in the beginning.
Eighteen weeks into my son’s life, it just angers me.
The pressure put on first-time mothers by the “breast is best” brigade is unforgiveable.
The stress on me was such that, after numerous midwife appointments and antenatal classes, I was terrified to even admit to another mother that I wouldn’t be breastfeeding. I couldn’t even tell one of my closest friends who’d had her baby a year earlier.
The real low point came days after my son was born. Due to a particularly traumatic birth, he spent his first days in intensive care and I was barely able to move from my bed after a terrifying emergency Caesarean section.
Because I wasn’t feeding him myself, I was told I wasn’t considered a priority for a bed when it came to allowing me to stay in hospital for an extra few days with him. That honour was strictly reserved for breastfeeding mums.
I’ll never forget the moment a midwife told me that there was no need for me to physically be with my son if I wasn’t breastfeeding. For the first time in my life I forgot my manners and did what is considered socially unthinkable: I argued with a member of the medical profession.
I told her how disgraceful and absolutely disgusting it was to claim that I had any less a bond with my son because I was feeding him SMA from a tiny bottle.
I'm not a wag who's too posh to push. I'm not a case study from 16 and Pregnant. I'm a 31-year-old educated woman. I'm fully aware of the benefits of breastfeeding as they are hammered out in every pregnancy and birth-related document currently published.
I salute mothers who choose to feed from the breast. It’s something to be admired and respected, but it’s just not for me.
Do I think not breastfeeding my son will have a major impact on his life? No.
Since we first fed my son a tiny 5ml in through his incubator doors to currently watching him devour 210ml five times every day, my husband and I share the responsibility of giving him a bottle.
He’s perfectly healthy, happy, and sleeps for 12 hours every night. He couldn’t be more loved.
Contrary to the myths peddled by some of the more militant members of the “milk mafia”, I have an incredibly strong bond with my beautiful baby.
When it comes to breastfeeding, as women, we should all be pro-choice. Unfortunately, we’re living in an era where the people in white coats and pink slacks think we all need guiding.
We’re drowning in the nanny state and are desperately trying to grab onto a common sense branch if we can find one. None of this is helped when we judge each other on what is a personal and hugely intimate decision.
The majority of us absolutely love our children and would endure torture if it meant they’d avoid a tiny bit of pain.
We are also individuals who know our own minds. It would be nice if that was remembered and respected as we travel through the most important process of our lives.
YES: The most natural thing in the world: 'It has added to the sense of doing the right thing for my child'
PAMELA FLOOD, TV personality, on why she chooses to breastfeed
When I was pregnant I planned to breastfeed my baby. It wasn’t something I had given much thought to before, but when I became pregnant and read up on breastfeeding I knew it was something that I had to try.
For the first few days, I found breastfeeding to be something I had to adjust to, but in the hospital the nurses were really supportive. Once you get the hang of it and make sure the baby is latched on properly, things should go well.
When you go home, support is important too. I had my friends to call on, but I also wanted to meet new mums. I decided to go to the local breastfeeding group organised by my public health nurse. There I met some other first-time mums who were breastfeeding and it was lovely to go along each week to catch up and see how we were all getting on.
I found that after only a couple of days at home, I was eager to get out and about and show off my new bouncing baby. It was so easy just to head off without having the hassle of boiling kettles, measuring scoops of formula, sterilising bottles, or packing bags of baby-feeding paraphernalia.
I breastfed my baby on demand for the first few months. Feeding times were very flexible. I never had to remember when the last feed was, how much was consumed, or worry that the baby was hungry.
It’s just so handy. I could go for coffee with friends, shopping or just walk around the park and simply pick a spot to discreetly feed my baby without anyone noticing at all. The freedom of it was just great.
One of the big pluses of breastfeeding was that it helped to bring me back to my post-pregnancy weight quite quickly as you’re burning so many more calories per day producing the milk.
I had friends who decided breastfeeding wasn’t for them. For most mums, it is straightforward. For others it can be hard to get the knack of, and it takes perseverance but it really pays off. Before you know it, your baby is weeks old and you get more comfortable all the time.
For my friends who decided not to breastfeed, I think it might have something to do with confidence. I had the confidence to feel I could breastfeed my child wherever I wanted to. I never felt that people were looking at me or disapproving.
Ireland has changed so much from when our mothers were rearing infants. It is the most natural thing in the world and society is much more accepting of breastfeeding in public.
I was also pleased with myself that I was giving my child the best start in life by breastfeeding him. Not only am I giving my baby the best in nutrients and antibodies, helping him to grow strong and to protect him from possible illnesses, but I’m also giving him security and comfort too.
The best part of breastfeeding, though, was the closeness I felt with my baby. At night I could cuddle him in bed with me and feed him while both of us were half asleep. The closeness and softness, and the lovely new-baby smell were just heavenly. No wonder breastfeeding mothers produce the best milk in the middle of the night.
I am pro-breastfeeding for all these reasons. Becoming a mother is the most challenging thing I’ve done to date, but it is the most rewarding too. Breastfeeding has added to the sense of doing the right thing for my child, giving him the best start in life and feeling proud of myself for starting off the journey of motherhood on the right path.
There are many out there who feel there is little difference between a formula-fed and a breast-fed baby when it comes to thriving, but a lot of the benefits for the child are long term too, helping to protect them from certain illnesses later in life.
The fact that a mother’s milk is completely natural generally means there will be very little regurgitation. Also, more than anything else, the fact that the rate of SIDS is far lower in breastfed babies was the ultimate decider for me.
I know some mums have difficulties when breastfeeding, but it is amazing how many people are out there with solutions. Some mums have told me that things that seem insurmountable can be resolved so easily when you get sound advice.
My advice to anyone finding things difficult is to keep trying. It gets easier and if people around you are supportive, you’ll see just how fantastic it can be.
Now I have to start preparing for the introduction of solids. And so to the next chapter of bringing up a baby.
