Teacher's PET

Congrats to Michelle Smith de Bruin (below) who has sailed through her first-year law exams at UCD with a very creditable 62 per cent. This put her in 24th place in a class of over 120 students. TP hears that Michelle "keeps herself to herself" out in the wilds of Belfield. She rarely socialises with classmates - most of whom are about 10 years younger than she is. Feverish efforts are still being made by every society to enlist Michelle, who has already acquired a kind of cult status in UCD. Michelle, also known as "Our Lady of the Chlorine" by readers of the Tom Humphries LockerRoom column in The Irish Times, now seems set for a long and distinguished career in law.

Remember Billy Fitzpatrick , the former education/research officer whose case became a cause cΘlΦbre at this year's TUI conference? The conference decided that a special post - estimated to be worth more than £30,000 per year - should be created for Billy. But six months on he is still teaching away in Dublin far away from the cosy TUI offices in Rathgar.

Apparently, two union members have blocked the move to appoint Billy by initiating court action. This will run and run. Here's a prediction: Michelle Smith de Bruin will be taking silk before this messy business is resolved.

That proposal by the engineers body for some kind of "hello money'" for graduates opting to enter teaching has caused a stir among the teaching unions. The Institute of Engineers in Ireland wants British-style special payments of about £3,000 for maths and science boffins who are brave enough to enter the classroom.

With the Government and the IDA determined to boost the hi-tech sector, the teaching unions are pushing an open door if they go looking for the money. But with the unions' leadership dominated by technophobes, don't expect a rush to the negotiating table.

USI's plan to give every first-year student a condom and a rubber glove (!) has run into some trouble at UCD, according to that very fine publication College Tribune. Apparently, the students union at UCD (homespun types who listen to 2FM) are a little squeamish about distributing these rather sensitive items. They will just about hand out the condoms - but handing out a rubber glove to impressionable first years is a bridge too far.

Quite right too.

Got any education gossip? You can e-mail Teachers' Pet in confidence at teacherspet@irish-times.ie