Boys are under intense pressure about sexuality and masculinity

Inexperienced adolescent males have few sources of accurate information. Quite naturally curious about women and sex, younger boys are driven by a very normal sexual interest about their own and other people's bodies. In theory, the sensible thing for them to do would be to ask questions of a parent, teacher or other adult who would provide them with the facts they want. In practice, adolescent boys seek that information from the media and from their peers.

It is hardly surprising that many young boys who try to find out what is normal sexual behaviour for men are influenced by what they watch on television. Their views on marriage - and on whether faithfulness, loyalty and respect are important in couple relationships - are also influenced by the media.

There is little doubt that recent salacious news reports about the behaviour of Bill Clinton has aroused curiosity and will undoubtedly stimulate some young people into activities that they are better off avoiding.

Parents cannot protect children from hearing news reports that give explicit details that make curious adolescents acutely aware of sexual matters. Nor are they likely to be aware of the wrong information that is authoritatively spread among the peer group. Take for example the confused messages about ejaculation: a widespread belief is that virile men come quickly. The grain of truth in this myth is that our primitive ancestors had to orgasm fast because the survival of the tribe depended on men who could impregnate their women quickly. The fallacy that a male should instinctively know how to be a great lover creates performance anxiety for vulnerable teenage boys who are uneducated about what is normal for either sex. Is it surprising that teenage boys, who cannot differentiate between their lust and normal intimacy needs, lie and pretend that they are more sexually experienced than they are?

Few teenagers realise that the friends who brag most about their macho performance are those most likely to be lying about such experiences. The sexual life of many a boastful lad exists only in his head and by his own hand.

Although young people tend to be well versed in the mechanics of procreation and contraception, many are poorly informed about what is normal in loving relationships between men and women. Teenage boys tend to be staggeringly ignorant about the intimacy needs of teenage girls.

Some wrongly believe that a girlfriend is frigid if she refuses male advances or is not sexually aroused as quickly as a lad. Others assume women do not enjoy sex as much as men, and others still are influenced by videos that portray women as nymphomaniacs who can't get enough sex.

This image of insatiable women is intimidating and as damaging as the belief that quick ejaculation is a sign of a strong male.

The publicity surrounding the drug Viagra has raised expectations that men should be able to hold an erection for hours. The belief is widespread that about 10 percent of men need the help of this new drug in order to satisfy a woman.

Young people who come from families where their parents had strong, caring relationships are more likely to have good self-esteem and self-confidence. They are also likely to have healthy expectations of couple relationships and treat friends of the other sex with respect rather than using them sexually. However, it would be foolish to deny that many at-risk young people face the onslaught of sexual pressure with very little parental support or family stability. Any teenager who has low self-esteem is vulnerable to peer pressure and is at risk of engaging in premature sexual activity.

The fragile adolescent psyche is easily damaged. Worries about low sex drive can damage a boy's sense of self-worth, give him an inferiority complex and provide a strong temptation to prove his manhood.

Such teenagers are particularly at risk of being coerced into premature sexual activity by peer expectations.

Until parents and teachers acknowledge that adolescent males are as vulnerable to sexual pressure as their female counterparts, they are unlikely to get the support and the education they need to help them make loving, morally responsible decisions about their sexual behaviour.