Berties masses troops to dethrone prince

BERTIE AHERN, a New Man, is charging with an old party to dethrone the Prince of Arrogance from the Kingdom.

BERTIE AHERN, a New Man, is charging with an old party to dethrone the Prince of Arrogance from the Kingdom.

Fianna Fail's 62nd Ardfheis opened last night at the RDS to thunderous applause when Bertie, with freshly trimmed locks, let out the battle cry, "We're ready! We're ready!"

Oh yes, warned Mary Hannafin, candidate in Dun Laoghaire, the age of arrogance is well nigh over, the "haughty, hectoring, haranguing" that stalks the land is about to meet its comeuppance at last, as soon as Dick Spring "chooses to leave the luxury of his Mercedes".

The twin topics among the delegates last night were the toppling of Labour, post haste, and the likely impact on the party of the alleged Duane Stores payments to Mr You Know Who.

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He, of course, was not present, and has told the party's general secretary, Pat Farrell, that he does not intend to appear in Dublin 4 over the weekend.

There was applause when Bertie, advocating public service, not self service, grasped the nettle and declared, "even if in the particular instance there were no favours sought or given," there could be no place in Fianna Fail for the practice of senior politicians seeking or receiving from a single donor large sums of money or services.

He issued a more direct hit and, without naming the omnipresent one, expressed zero tolerance for "that kind of past behaviour - no matter how eminent the person involved - or the extent of their prior services to the country".

Hands came together again in a warm crescendo when he pleaded for fair play and justice, demanding that the person "now being openly referred to" should be entitled to a presumption of innocence until otherwise proven.

Outside the RDS members of Young Fine Gael had managed to drag an iron water pump from Ranelagh, donned masks of Mary Harney and Michael McDowell and rattled buckets in a bid to remind the public of the water charges affair. Nobody paid much attention.

A crowd of 4,000 is expected to mass at the RDS tonight to hear Bertie rally them for the battle ahead.