Car sales are, at their fundamental heart, a popularity contest. The cars that people like more they’ll buy more of, and success breeds success. After all, if your neighbour buys a Golf or a Corolla, that puts the idea in your head, however subliminally, that they must be a good car. How else do you think those two managed to shift 40-odd and 50-odd million units, respectively?
If there are winners in a popularity contest, it follows that there must be losers. The ones who never get picked come sports day. In car terms, though, this is not necessarily the damning verdict that it might be. The lower echelons of the sales charts are home to a whole host of cars that are actually really good, but for reasons of fashion, history, peer pressure or, in recent years, a lack of available supply, don’t resonate with Irish car buyers. These, then, are the cars that we really ought to be buying, but aren’t.
1. Volvo V60. 2022 sales: 11. 2023 sales so far: 6
At 226th place in the 2023 Irish new car sales charts so far sits the Volvo V60, which in terms of relative excellence and placing is like when Juventus got relegated from Serie A in 2006 (not that we’re accusing Volvo of bribing referees or anything). True, the V60 is an estate and getting Irish buyers to appreciate estates is like asking your five-year old to appreciate broccoli, but the V60 is a truly excellent car. It’s handsome, it has a massive boot (it actually has more boot space than the larger and bulkier Volvo XC60 SUV) and is surprisingly sharp to drive. The upgraded T8 plug-in hybrid system offers 91km of electric-only range, and has a whopping 455hp when the electric motor and the 2.0-litre turbo petrol engine are singing together. It’s not even that expensive, in relative terms — €65,490 ain’t cheap but it’s less than you’ll pay for an equivalent Mercedes-Benz C-Class estate. Tight supply is certainly a factor, as Volvo quotes a delivery date of nine to 10 months. It’s a car worth waiting for, though.
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2. Subaru Outback. 2022 sales: 1. 2023 sales so far: 1
Clearly, the Outback and the V60 share a common enemy in the long-held Irish antipathy towards estate cars. Clearly, too, Subaru’s tiny size in the Irish market, in general, conspires against the Outback, as if there’s no Subaru dealer near you, and little-to-no marketing or advertising for the model, how would you even know it’s there? The biggest issue, unquestionably, is the engine. You can only buy the Outback with a 2.5-litre flat-four “boxer” petrol engine. Which develops 169hp. Just for context, a three-cylinder Ford Fiesta ST 1.6-litre engine develops 200hp. The Outback’s engine will also suck down 8.5 litres of fuel for every 100km covered, and that’s on a good day. At €59,000 it’s also very much not cheap. Does that make it a bad car? No, not at all, just an expensive one to run. Really, it’s aimed at the US market, where it enjoys massive sales success thanks to rugged reliability, rough-road prowess, and excellent cabin comfort. Unloved here it may be, but that doesn’t make it a bad car.
3. Ford S-Max. 2022 sales: 40. 2023 sales so far: 13
The S-Max feels like it’s never quite had a proper crack of the whip. It originally arrived in the mid-2000s, just as everyone was first starting to drift away from MPVs and into SUVs, and that slide has continued all the way to 2023, where despite it being Ford’s 120th birthday, no one cares about the S-Max any more. It’s big, spacious, comfortable, and really very sharp to drive (Mondeo genes). You can have it as a hybrid, or as a very economical diesel and it will hold more of your family, and your family’s stuff than pretty much any SUV you might care to mention. But people don’t care. The shape of the car that’s imprinted on buyers’ minds now is an SUV, not a sleeker, more efficient, more spacious MPV and hence the S-Max is going to die soon — even the factory in which it is made is going to be shuttered. In 20 years’ time, people will complain about the lack of choice in the car market, that everything is now an SUV and this will be one of the marker posts on the way to that dreary future.
4. Mazda 3. 2022 sales: 146. 2023 sales so far: 68
That the Mazda 3 continues to elude Irish buyers’ shopping lists is something of a minor travesty. In many ways, it should push all of our traditional Irish car buyer buttons — it’s a mid-size Japanese hatchback with a very economical engine line-up and all of the long-term reliability that you might expect from a Mazda. So why no sale? Well, just as with comedy, timing is everything and the current 3 — spectacularly good-looking though it is — arrived just at the point where buyers were moving away from diesel power and heading rapidly towards hybrid and electric. The 3 hit the market just before the current hybrid Toyota Corolla, and it’s that Japanese five-door hatch that really drank the Mazda’s milkshake. It probably doesn’t help that the 3 has always had a slightly high price tag (compensated for by very good standard equipment) and that its 2.0-litre petrol engine range, although very efficient in both fuel and CO2, just sounds too big for Irish buyers’ wallets. It’s also quite tight in the back. A shame — this is a car as sharp to drive as it is to look at, and the updated 180hp SkyActiv-X engine is exceptionally frugal.
5. Alfa Romeo Giulia. 2022 sales: 11. 2023 sales so far: 16
Ah, that perennial sales underachiever, the Giulia. This handsome, rear-drive four-door was supposed to be Alfa’s salvation (as was the 159 that preceded it, as were so many other Alfas down through the years). As with the Mazda 3, timing in part scuppered it, as the Giulia arrived with no hybrid or electric option, just as the market started to turn that way. A lack of dealers in Ireland didn’t help, and neither did buyers whose fingers had been burned by the old 156, which had once commanded 1 per cent of the Irish car market all by itself, but which turned out to be an unreliable nightmare. That shouldn’t be the case with a Giulia (emphasise shouldn’t — there have been reports of reliability snafus, just fewer of them than is historically the case with Alfa) and it feels well-built. It’s also exceptionally good to drive (sweeter steering than the BMW 3 Series) and the mighty 510hp Quadrifoglio shows the likes of AMG how to build a truly thrilling high-performance saloon. The Giulia will, in the next couple of years, be replaced by Alfa’s first all-electric saloon. Until then, enjoy it while you can — it’s a future classic.
6. Audi TT. 2022 sales: 9. 2023 sales so far: 4
This is a sad, sad tale of beautiful youth overtaken by middle-aged spread. When it was first launched in 1998, the original TT was hailed as a modern, motorised interpretation of true Bauhaus design principles. It was so gorgeous, so arresting that it didn’t even matter that it was sat on a soggy MkIV VW Golf chassis which blunted its handling credentials. It was also ridiculously cramped, and Audi misjudged its aero package so badly that the original shape had to be distended with a boot spoiler after a series of high-speed accidents. Still, subsequent versions kept the arresting shape but added better engines, a sharper chassis, and in the shape of the TT RS a five-cylinder, growling, menacing, junior supercar. Quattro all-wheel-drive mean that the TT kept going when other sports car would cower meekly in heated garages, but it was already a car on borrowed time. SUVs were both literally and figuratively looming, and once Audi worked out that it could make more cash from a Q3, the TT gig was up. A 25th anniversary model is now on sale as a final TT salute, and you can still buy a basic one from Audi for €58,005. You really should.
8. Honda Civic. 2022 sales: n/a. 2023 sales so far: n/a
We’re cheating slightly here as the new, hybrid-engined Honda Civic is not yet on sale in Ireland. We’ve driven it, quite some months ago, and it’s truly excellent. Not the most thrilling car to look at, it’s true, but with a deftly-poised chassis and an excellent 2.0-litre hybrid engine. It’ll get here eventually, but we worry that it will go the way of the previous Civic, which found just 61 homes in 2022 in Ireland. That old Civic was a truly lovely car — not easy to look at, and with an equally messy interior, but it had driving dynamics which sparkled on a twisty road, and a delightful 1.0-litre turbo petrol engine with Honda’s signature variable valve timing. It had Honda’s legendary build quality too, which makes those who make Swiss watches green with envy, and that has passed down the lineage to the new Civic. Don’t make the same mistake again, then — embrace the new Civic like you didn’t embrace its predecessor. There’s still time to fix this.
8. Jaguar I-Pace. 2022 sales: 111. 2023 sales so far: 37
Jaguar, back in 2019, sprang — with appropriate cat-like reflexes — into a sudden lead in the premium electric SUV market when it launched the I-Pace. The sleek battery Jag was on sale well ahead of rivals such as the BMW iX3, the Mercedes EQC, and the Audi e-tron quattro. Not only that, but it was good to drive. Really good to drive, with the same sort of smooth, agile reflexes you’d expect from a car with the leaping cat badge — not something you can say of all, even many, of its rivals. Oddly, Jaguar seemed to just sit on the I-Pace’s laurels, apparently unable to capitalise on that early lead to the point where now, we’re still waiting for the brand’s second electric car, and the I-Pace is ageing fast. Fast, but gracefully. True, its range isn’t all that great (400km on a good day) but it’s swift, sure-footed, and has a gorgeous cabin, which has been recently upgraded with much-improved infotainment. In a world of occasionally half-baked electric cars, the I-Pace remains a tasty dish.
9. Citroen Berlingo. 2022 sales: 120. 2023 sales so far: 10
If badge snobbery could be, somehow, surgically removed from all car buyers in the morning, I’ve often thought that the car market could then be shrunk down to two models — the Citroen Berlingo and the Skoda Octavia. Honestly, those two cover just about every base you could theoretically need. Which makes it perplexing that no one in Ireland seems to be buying the Berlingo. Okay, so it’s a van with windows but that just means that those windows are openings into the soul of true practicality. All versions have three individual seats across the back, which makes child safety seats a doddle to fit, while the sliding side doors make it easier again to load Junior and Juniorette. The boot is massive (well beyond 1,000 litres if you get the long wheelbase version) and the cabin is well-made, easy to see out of, and comfortable on a long drive. Ah, long drives. That’s a bit of an issue — Citroen now sells the Berlingo only in electric form, which means a maximum possible range of 280km on a charge, and often much less than that in the real world. That, and the higher €36,000 price tag, may explain the lack of takers. This is a pity — cars this practical and snobbery free are a rare thing and need to be cherished.
