How much your identity was wrapped up in your work can add to the impact of redundancy

It’s not personal

If your role is made redundant, try to remember it’s not personal. Maybe the company has overhired, it isn’t performing or a new strategy means it needs different skills. These things have nothing to do with you or your worth.

But I feel hurt

Redundancy can still feel like a sucker punch. Take time to acknowledge your feelings, says Linda Breathnach, member of the Irish Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy and founder of therapyandtraining.ie.

“If you’ve been going in there every day for years, it can hurt and you can feel disappointed,” says Breathnach. The length of time you have been in the job, how much your identity was wrapped up in your work and how full your life is outside of work can add to the impact. It’s a form of grieving, she says. “Acknowledge the enormity of it. Give yourself permission to find it hard. Mind yourself, exercise self-care and compassion and surround yourself with people who will remind you of your value and worth.”

“What we try to teach our kids is that it shouldn’t matter what happens externally,” says Breathnach. “Work shouldn’t define us. We are more than what we do.”

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But I’m mad as hell…

If the company has overhired, overspent or put incompetents in charge, shouting at your boss or flipping a desk may bring relief in the moment. You might regret it though. It’s best to cool off. Wait and air your opinions constructively another time, if you still feel like it.

“If you’ve kept something in for 10 years, you might want to say how you really feel, but it’s important to give that air time separately,” says Breathnach. “Type it in an email, but maybe don’t send it yet.” If you are really struggling with your emotions, speak to a registered counsellor.

Make room for gratitude

Maybe the job wasn’t all bad. Maybe you got to travel the world, make good friends, you got a new qualification, or you bought your first home while working there. “Balance out the sadness by acknowledging how far you have come, the challenges you overcame and the progress you made in life along the way,” says Breathnach.

Make a list

Before you leave, make a list of all the things you achieved in the job. Did you bust sales targets, deliver a big project, introduce a new system? Keep a record of these things so that you don’t forget. “Ask a boss or a colleague for a reference covering the things you achieved,” says Breathnach. “Record that positive feedback so that you can bring it with you to your next stage.”

Best foot forward

Navigating the path between taking a breather and finding a new job can be tricky. “After redundancy, you can be most at risk of making assumptions about yourself and starting to form beliefs that will affect your confidence,” says Breathnach. Have someone objective beside you, a friend or former colleague, reminding you how good you are.

Job hunting can be daunting, especially if you were in your old job a while. “Don’t go for interviews with the aim of getting the job. Go for 10 half-relevant jobs just to get some interview experience without that pressure,” says Breathnach. Don’t invest too much of yourself personally in whether you get the job or not, she says. Know there may be many factors at play in that company’s hiring process that you don’t know about.

Finding a new role that’s right for you takes time. If you can afford it, take your time to find the right fit. Maybe it’s something entirely different. Don’t jump into something that looks big and shiny just to spite your former employer.

Remember, if you believe you were unfairly selected for redundancy – for example, on the basis of discriminatory criteria such as age or sex – you may be able to appeal. Seek advice from a union representative or contact the Workplace Relations Commission.