It's the thought that counts, they say . . . but if you don't put enough effort into the thought on Monday, you'll be toast, writes BENJI BENNETT
AH YES, IT’S HERE, the one time of the year when if you mess it up you might as well join a monastery for six months and spend the other six months delivering apologetic cups of tea to the bedroom, along with a daily slice of toasted McCambridge’s. For a welcome change, you are not worrying about the IMF bailout or who not to vote for in the election. You are, however, worrying about what the hell you are going to do for Valentine’s Day. Personally, I have managed to avoid a life of celibacy in the mountains of Tibet only because my perennial Valentine Jackie has a high tolerance threshold when it comes to me and my romantic gestures.
As the shocking reality of the Budget has only recently just come home to roost, the danger of a cash-strapped Valentine’s Day looms large this year. Our financial worries and fears for the future mean we are all, most likely, a bit low on the necessary ingredients for steamy romance: fuel, for starters, not to mention passion, positive conversation, fun, laughter, encouragement, support and spontaneity. So this year, more than any other in recent times, we have to try and get it right and make each other feel good.
In an attempt to help you have a successful, recession-proof Valentine’s Day and generate romance that lasts, here are some suggestions based on my own romantic experiences inspired by Jackie.
When your valentine says cash is tight and not to go wasting money on silly stuff, here is a tip: don’t be thick and say “Okay, hun” and do absolutely nothing. You’re toast if you do. Here is an example of what I mean. During a long enough spell of unemployment in 2001, cash was tight and Jackie said those very words to me. I could have taken the easy way out and just got a card and written something nice inside, but I wanted to do something special with a very low budget. So after some thought I bought her a fleece blanket, as she is always cold, even with the fire and heaters on full blast. A practical yet welcome present, I thought. But to make it special and cheer us up, I wrote a few lines about our happiest moments as a couple and had them embroidered on to the blanket with gold thread. That gesture 10 years ago kept us positive and reminded us of what we had as a couple when times were tough. We both realised that once we kept adding more happy memories to the blanket, we would hopefully overcome our worries, become stronger as a couple, keep the romance alive, and give us the strength to overcome the toughest challenges that life could throw at us. This strength was tested to its limit when we lost our son Adam when he was four, so that one gesture has gone a long way to keeping us smiling through tough times.
Now for you younger folks in love who are only dating a while and can’t keep your hands off each other, you are no doubt planning a night of extreme passion. This is great, but do try to avoid any sort of embarrassment the following morning if you suddenly have a vague memory of having discussed marriage. Once, during a romantic Valentine’s weekend with Jackie in Amsterdam, when we’d been dating about two months, I got carried away and asked her to marry me. I woke the next morning in a cold sweat wondering a) if Jackie thought I was crazy and would dump me quicker than an Anglo investment portfolio and b) how I would explain to my mother that I was getting married to a girl about whom she had never heard a whisper.
In the same way that a puppy is not just for Christmas, neither is romance just for Valentine’s Day. So whatever you do on Monday, just remember that if it’s carefully thought out, it can fuel good memories in times to come.
Benji Bennett, the award-winning children’s author of the Adam series, is running a competition online at adamscloud.com where your child can become an illustrated character and join Adam in his next adventure book
