Joe Byrne first visited the Cupán Tae Memory Cafe last November after his wife, Mary, was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s.
The saddest thing, he says, is seeing your partner look at you with a blank stare.
“At the cafe, everyone was either a patient or a caregiver, so I was learning myself. Everyone around you is at a different stage of the disease, so you can see what lies ahead.”
On Wednesday afternoon, hundreds of mostly seniors crowded into the upstairs function room at the Naomh Barróg GAA club in Kilbarrack, Dublin, for the official launch of the cafe. Blue and green balloons framed the doorways. Wait staff served coffee, tea and desserts.
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Memory cafes support people living with dementia and other memory-loss diseases and their caregivers by providing a safe place to socialise, learn about the disease and enjoy a cup of tea. In 2011, the first dementia cafe was established in Dublin. Since then, 26 more have opened across Ireland, but Cupán Tae Memory Cafe is the first in north Dublin.
Healthcare workers Regina Lafferty and Mairead Boyle recognised the need for a memory cafe in the area. After receiving support from Mental Health Service for Older Persons and Beaumont Hospital occupational therapists, the cafe was born.
“It’s a dream that myself and my colleague Regina have had for a while so it’s a proud day for us,” Boyle said.
Overstimulation can be an issue for people with dementia, so the atmosphere and environment of the cafe were important. Good lighting, relaxing and calming colours and a breakout space for those who find themselves overloaded were incorporated.
The cafe provides an opportunity to learn about dementia with sessions hosted by specialists in areas such as nutrition and finance. But most importantly, it’s a place to have fun and socialise. In the past, activities have included chair yoga, singalongs and brain activities. Music is an important component.
For caregivers, it offers the chance to meet others in a similar situation. That’s how Byrne met Gordon Hogan, whose wife had dementia.
“Unless you’re going through it, you don’t know what it’s like,” Hogan said. When his wife died in December, he continued to frequent the cafe. “I come here for the company and the craic. It gets me out of the house,” he said. “It only runs once a month though. I wish it was once a week.”
At the opening, Dublin Lord Mayor Cllr Caroline Conroy spoke about the importance of the memory cafe before Gaelic footballer Brian Fenton took the stage to cut the ribbon to officially open the facility.
But it was the Forget-Me-Nots choir who enthralled the crowd. The 120-member choir is comprised of those with dementia and their caregivers. Started by Orla Horn, whose mother had dementia, the choir practices twice weekly and currently has a waiting list to join.
Cupán Tae Memory Cafe will be open on the second Wednesday of each month from 2pm to 4pm, beginning in September. Attendance is free.