Weird science

Reviewed - What the bleep do we know?: What the Bleep Do We Know? (or What the #$*! Do We Know? as it is known on certain astral planes) is an attempt to use the physics of the subatomic to prove that big macroscopic objects such as you, me and that woman out of Children of a Lesser God interact with one another in ways outlined by Dr Bonkers of the Mumbo Jumbo University.

The picture begins respectably with a number of boffins - whose often dubious qualifications are not revealed until the end credits - explaining various arresting aspects of quantum mechanics. Some questionable, though not yet properly barmy, theories are put forward as to how these phenomena affect our slippery grasp of reality, and the film begins to shape itself into a cheaper, dumber version of Richard Linklater's great philosophical compendium, Waking Life.

It is difficult to identify the precise point Bleep spins off its axis, but alarm bells begin clamouring when the protagonist happens upon an explanation of the work of one Masura Emoto. This notorious non-scientist, a kind of alchemist for the whale-song crowd, claims that human thought creates energies powerful enough to change the molecular structure of water, and, look here, he has the photographs to prove it.

In between the talking heads, the fine deaf actress Marlee Matlin pops up as a troubled photographer who, after witnessing some cheap computer animations at a Polish wedding, paints herself with stars instead of having a nervous breakdown. So much else is wrong with the film, it's hardly worth noting that the direction, cinematography and lighting in Matlin's sequences would be barely acceptable in an industrial safety video.

The crowning outrage in this farrago comes with the closing revelation that one J Z Knight, a grinning nincompoop, has, throughout the picture, been channelling a 35,000- year-old god named Ramtha. If you believe that to be possible, then get your broomstick down to the Irish Film Institute.

Hang on, the IFI? What the bleep are they thinking?