"HOLLYWOOD super star spotted at Mass", boasted the Munster Express. The star in question was Martin Sheen, who invited the journalist who spotted him, Martin O'Sullivan, to a meal to discuss religious affairs. O'Sullivan used the menu to take notes and borrowed Sheen's camera to shoot some photographs. Afterwards he brought the actor home to meet his wife, Christine, at her parents' home.
"They were absolutely flabbergasted when I knocked on the door and told them I had Martin Sheen and his son, Ramon, outside in the car," said O'Sullivan, who edits a religious magazine, and regarded his meeting with Sheen as "a sign from God".
The Kerryman published an opinion article by Jack Scannell, a retired British merchant navy radio officer. "Virginity is back! Throw away your condoms! Keep yourself for your future married partner and get rid of Aids! More important, put £200 million back into the economy yearly!" Huh?
Scannell said that because "unmarried mothers" cost the State £200 million annually they could save us money by not having babies until they got married. His argument was by way of defending the strongly held local view that Rose of Tralee contestants should be virgins.
On the same page, the paper stated that "for too long there has been this notion that the country is going to hell. The story of Goldenbridge is clear evidence that modern Ireland, far from heading for disaster, is a vast improvement when compared to what passed as an island dedicated to Catholic Christian principles 40 People.
The Connacht Tribune also reported that a file is expected to be sent to the DPP following allegations of child sex abuse against a GAA figure, allegations which have "rocked the GAA organisation."
The Argus said two young Dundalk men who suffered serious injuries in separate vicious and unprovoked attacks at the weekend were saved by the brave intervention of passers by.
The way to deal with the bullies in the streets was to "meet steel with steel" advised urban councillor Mossy O'Reilly in the Kildare Nationalist. "Every man of fighting age should get out on the streets and remind these lads that their houses have glass windows too," said O'Reilly.
Bison meat could replace beef on the menu now that BSE has put so many people off their steaks. The Meath Chronicle reported the people of Curraha, near Ashbourne, are getting used to the sight of the country's first bison herd grazing peacefully. The 28 bison, owned by Mr Raymond Coyle, of Largo Foods, will soon be joined by 10 more.
The front pages of the Northern Standard and the Longford Leader featured pictures of men who had caught large brown trout, although the Northern Standard may have embarrassed itself with its photo of a single 6 1/2 pounder because the Longford Leader had three fish - all around 12 lbs each.
The Guardian's main story concerned the ESB Fisheries report on Lough Derg which blamed "environmental conditions" for the bream kill of recent weeks. The report is "an indictment of all the agencies involved - county council and other local authorities, the Departments of Environment and the Marine, and the ESB itself, commented the Guardian.
The Donegal Democrat had an amusing footnote to the story of how luggage belonging to two local men went missing among the bags of President Clinton, as The Irish Times reported last week. Mr Clinton wrote notes of apology to the two men, telling them that he realised something was amiss when he noticed a "Finn Harps jersey" hanging in his closet.
Marks for colourful writing go to the Wexford People, which commented that the local light opera society had got its latest production, Orpheus, off to a "tonsil ripping start". {CORRECTION} 96042700056
