I know who killed me

Two films are fighting it out for the title of Grand Turkey at this year's Golden Raspberry Awards.

Two films are fighting it out for the title of Grand Turkey at this year's Golden Raspberry Awards.

In Norbit, Eddie Murphy, a Razzie regular, plays three characters. I Know Who Killed Me - which is, unsurprisingly, released straight to DVD in this territory - features only two performances from the traffic accident known to the paparazzi as Lindsay Lohan.

Do we have that right? This numbingly confusing, disconcertingly morbid shocker opens with a scene in which Ms Lohan plays a naughty stripper with the heavy-eyed look of  a recovering narcoleptic. Yet Trixie Mc Fluffbell (as she's not called) may, perhaps, only exist in the mind of Mandy McNice, another, more sober Lohan creation.

When Mandy, a diligent student, wakes up in hospital after being found mutilated by the road, she claims to be Trixie. What's happening? Who cares? Somebody needs to rescue Lohan before she squanders all her potential.

Donald Clarke

Donald Clarke

Donald Clarke, a contributor to The Irish Times, is Chief Film Correspondent and a regular columnist