Yet another awards ceremony tonight, with the same faces up for the gongs. Enough of the pap, give us meatier awards, writes Kevin Courtney.
The pop music awards season is here, bringing an army of stars, presenters, models and music biz types into battle for their few minutes in the limelight. Extra rations of marching powder have been ordered, the Versace armour has been fitted, and the barbed comments and stinging soundbites are loaded and ready to fire at any approaching news crew. The Brit Awards, televised "as live" on ITV on February 20th, saw an invasion of attention-seeking celebrities, including Kylie Minogue, Justin Timberlake, Avril Lavigne, Pink, film stars Owen Wilson and Jackie Chan, and Tom Jones.
The 45th Grammy Awards in New York last week attracted even more stars - the likes of Rod Stewart, Aretha Franklin, Debbie Harry, B.B. King, Bruce Springsteen, Tony Bennett and The Bee Gees.
Meanwhile, in Dublin, the great and good of the Irish music industry - along with the not-so-great and the plainly awful - will show up at Dublin's Point Theatre tonight for the third annual Meteor Music Awards. Now, I like a good knees-up as much as the next rock critic, and the Meteors always throw a decent enough aftershow party, but I have to admit I'm tired of seeing the same battalion of popstars trooping up to the podium to collect yet another gong.
I'm sick of the same old strutting superstars and warbling wannabes who seem to pop up at these events every year, and I'm bored with the babes, bimbos and bozos who flock to these shindigs in the hope of bagging some reflected celebrity glory (not to mention the crack squadron of rock hacks in search of free drink). Most of all, I'm fed up of seeing rubbishy manufactured pop muppets winning awards for jumping through hoops for the likes of Simon Cowell and Louis Walsh. And if I see bloody Westlife making one more guest appearance, or Bryan McFadden's wife Kerry Katona presenting another award, I'll . . . I'll . . . change the channel. This year, U2, Sinead O' Connor, Van Morrison, The Chieftains, Christy Moore, Ronan Keating and Westlife are up for a Meteor Music Award. Excuse me, but haven't these people got enough awards already?
At the Brit Awards, Robbie Williams won Best Solo Male Artist for the third year in a row; he takes his UK success so much for granted now, that this time he didn't even bother going to collect his award in person.
Awards ceremonies are all about the spectacle and the extravaganza, so it's imperative to fill the room with as many household names as possible without breaking fire regulations or causing mass blindness from their dazzling outfits and teeth. So what if some of the acts are less than deserving of an award? If they're famous enough and have sold enough records, then the punters will recognise them and tune in, and the sponsors will be happy with the viewership figures.
The Meteor Music Awards panel is composed of 400 people from the Irish music industry, who collectively come up with the shortlist of nominations in each category. The panel includes music journalists, radio DJs and record company executives, who put forward their choice for Best Band, Best Album, Best Dance Act etc. The awards are run by the Irish Recorded Music Association(IRMA), whose membership includes the big five labels, EMI, Warner Music, Sony, BMG and Universal. The heads of all five companies are also board members of IRMA, and each of them has a casting vote for the nominations. There's no rule that prevents a record company exec from nominating artists from their own roster, but a spokesperson for the Meteor Awards insists that IRMA is conscientious about ensuring that the nomination process is fair and impartial, and that the powerful major labels don't dominate the voting. It's hard not to raise an eyebrow though, at the sight of Six, the group formed from the Irish version of PopStars, being nominated for Best Irish Pop Act and Best New Irish Pop Act. Still, at least it proves that music critics don't dominate the proceedings either.
But unlike the Brits, where the public is only allowed a say in one or two categories, all the winners of the Meteor Music Awards will be decided by the Irish public, who will choose their favourite artist from the shortlist by text message. The choice is wide, from major label signings Luan Parle and Carly Hennessy to independent artists such as Nina Hynes and The Last Post. For the most part, the Meteor nominations cover Irish music tastes across the spectrum, with big, bland hitmakers on one end and offbeat, folksy artists on the other. Mostly, though, it's a straight-down-the-middle list, with little to excite or shake up the Irish pop status quo - although I'm still hopeful that The Thrills will take Best Irish New Act, Mundy - Best Irish Male Singer, and Mic Christopher - posthumous Best Irish Album Award.
However, the winners will probably reflect what the punters are buying, so I expect Westlife will walk up to the podium for the umpteenth time and Robbie Williams will apologise by video for not being able to be there. What we really need are some meatier music awards, but who is going to stump up to sponsor an Alternative Irish Music Awards? If anyone out there is up for it, give me a call and we'll make it a night to remember.
Meteors awards are open to the public, tickets €30 from Ticketmaster and usual outlets. They will be broadcast on Network 2 on Wednesday night at 9 p.m.
