What is it?A blissful state of ageless nirvana, where the passage of time means nothing and death is but a distant shadow.
What kind of godlike creatures achieve amortality?Pop stars, film stars, Wags and socialites all aspire to it, but ordinary people are increasingly becoming amortal too. Amortality allows you to act like a teenager at 70, to dress in the latest catwalk fashions at 80, and to go snowboarding and bungee jumping at 90.
Sounds fantastic. Where can I get some of this amortality?You can't get it in a bottle, but you can achieve it by a combination of a healthy lifestyle, a high-energy diet, vitamins, a youthful outlook, a nip and tuck here and there, and of course lashings of botox when needed. Amortals do what they like, whenever they like, for as long as they like. They reckon growing up is for wimps, growing old is for fuddy-duddies and dying is for losers. Amortals look the grim reaper straight in the eye and say, "Sorry, I don't do death."
Where did the term come from?Amortality was coined by Time magazine journalist Catherine Mayer to describe the new breed of super-celeb who don't appear to age, and who don't plan to change their childish, self-centred, pleasure-seeking behaviour any time soon. By mashing up the words "amoral" and "immortal", Mayer has identified a modern trend that is gaining currency among not just the rich and famous, but among the rest of us too. In her contribution to a feature on "10 ideas changing the world right now", Mayer reckons the amortals are in the economic driving seat – and it's going to be a while before they run out of gas.
What makes them so invincible?It's a combination of attitude and advances in medicine and science.
Anti-ageing breakthroughs in recent years have seen the life-expectancy of humans increase, and improved the quality of life for older people. Add Viagra to the mix and you’ve got a recipe for non-stop teenage kicks. Many of these “wellderlys” are taking advantage of their new lease of life by partying like it’s still 1969. They’re taking their cues from famous people who refuse to be defined by their age or their moral code. According to Mayer, Madonna is the uber-amortal, whose risque image has remained unchanged since her early 1980s disco-bunny days. Another high-profile amortal is Simon Cowell (right), whose face seems to have been cryogenically frozen in its 20s – when judgment day comes, Cowell will still be sitting there, his face free of wrinkles, intoning: “Frankly, I don’t believe you’re trying hard enough.”
How can we stop these amortals? Is there some sort of laser gun?Alas, it looks like we're going to be stuck with them for quite some time to come. According to Mayer, marketing people love amortals, because they keep buying music, gadgets, designer clothes, sports cars and expensive cosmetic procedures when they should be getting their bus pass. And when the current crop of amortals finally shuffles off this mortal coil – most likely in bed with a model after a day on the ski slopes – a new generation of young amortals is ready to take over: teenage and twentysomething stars determined to continue acting like spoilt bratpackers as long as modern medicine allows them to do so.
Try at work:"Yeah, Ibiza was cool, and the clubs were bangin', but every now and then I got this strange desire to just go on a cruise and read a book."
Try at home: "Darling, if I ever become old, doddery and incontinent, promise you won't sign me up for Strictly Come Dancing."
