Code of Conduct

The start of a weekly series on etiquette for modern living: 1. Recycling: The weekly recycling trip is not a social occasion but there will always be somebody who wants to chat.

If you can't resist the urge for a chinwag over the bottle bank at least be nice. Complimenting a fellow recycler on their sorting ability is nice. Saying "good weekend?" while looking pointedly at your neighbour's five boxes of empty wine bottles is not.

2 Having said that, sometimes it pays to be nosy. If the bloke in the sports car is unloading loads of "meals for one" cardboard wrappers and has the air of someone whose mum still does his washing, then why not ask him out? Why not? Because then you have to tell people you met your boyfriend at a dump.

3 Face facts. There will always be a queue. Even if the person in front is taking an age getting rid of his collection of newspapers and magazines, resist the urge to chuck your stuff over the top of his head to save time. The recycling gods will ensure your used telephone directory will land on his head. He will probably sue.

4 How you get there is vital. Cycling with a large rucksack full of recyclables: good. Driving there in a petrol-guzzling SUV with no other passengers and two small bags of stuff in the boot: bad.

5 Beginners should be encouraged, not made to feel like second-class citizens. Just because you ordered designer recycling containers on the internet doesn't give you the right to snigger at our home-made ones.

6 Don't cheat. Those eagle-eyed recycling attendants are not just there for the good of their health. Think they don't see the nappies you've slipped in the folded-up cardboard boxes? Or the used cat litter you've tried to hide? Think again, my friend.