Stock take

Apple shares rise: Steve Jobs's much-lamented departure hasn't stopped Apple shares gaining almost 15 per cent over the last month, with a high-volume breakout to new highs registered on Monday.

Apple and Exxon Mobil have been fighting it out for the mantle of the world’s largest company for some time, but the recent surge means that the former is now the undisputed leader. Apple’s $380 billion market cap is over $20 billion more than Exxon’s, which has slipped in recent months.

Ironically, the world’s biggest company isn’t a component of the Dow Jones Industrial Average index. There’s been much chatter this week that that’s forthcoming, but unless the stock splits, it’s not going to happen.

The Dow is weighted by price rather than market capitalisation and Apple’s $420 share price means it would account for 22 per cent of the index. Such dominance would make the venerable index “more like the Dow Jones Industrial Apple”, as Bespoke Investment Group put it.

Bucking the hedge trend: Hedge funds were battered in August, suffering their worst month since Lehman's collapse three years ago. The FT reports that controversial Glaswegian Hugh Hendry bucked the trend, however, with his Eclectica Credit Fund returning 22 per cent after his anti-China bets paid off.

Famously acerbic, his ability to antagonise is “part of my skill set”. His BBC Newsnight appearances over the last 18 months have seen him dismiss Nobel economist Joseph Stiglitz (“Hello? Can I tell you about the real world?”) and economist Jeffrey Sachs (“Was Jeffrey skiing two months ago? I was working”).

To Hendry, short-selling is the “pursuit of truth” and hedge fund managers the “unofficial opposition party”.

Asked in May 2010 for his take on European banks, he gave a pithy response. “I would recommend you panic.”

Preparing for panic has proved profitable for Hendry. Eclectica is up by 38 per cent this year.

Headline act: "Getting 7 per cent Handle on Unemployment Is/Isn't Done Deal Just in Time for 2012" is just one of the many peculiar Bloomberg headlines at strangebloombergheadlines.tumblr.com.

Some recent gems, like “Men Selling Panties May End in Saudi Arabia” and “Cute Frog Battling Chytridiomycosis Poses for Her Close-Up in High Sierra” were subsequently tidied up. Bizarrely, “The Lady Will See You in Myanmar as Suu Kyi Shows Land Besieged” was left unchanged.

Headline writers are not the only offenders, however. Last month, the Wall Street Journalquoted an investor who really got his metaphors mixed up.

“I’m sure there were some wealthy families who were drinking the Bernanke Kool-aid and got burned,” he said, “but I don’t know many families in that boat.”