All in the Game: Ray Hudson’s Lionel Messi love affair continues

Hudson’s Messi love affair continues

Ray Hudson loves Lionel Messi very, very much. The co-commentator, who was on duty with beIN Sports on Saturday for the meeting of Real Madrid and Barcelona, has expressed his admiration for the fella in quite a unique way over the years, eg:

“He’s a player who could follow you in to a revolving door and still come out first”; “You could drop a tarantula into his shorts and he’d still be cool”; “He knows the laws of physics, but they don’t know him”; “He’s like a squirrel on a telegraph wire”; “Defenders try to follow him on Facebook, and he comes out on Twitter - that’s how evasive he is”.

And: “He knows the laws of physics, but they don’t know him”; “Centipedes must fantasise about having one left foot like Messi’s”; “He has a softer touch than the clap of a butterfly’s wings, and an eye for goal better than the Cyclops”; “The Mozart of our game .... even the crickets in the trees love him. Crickets play football as well, and they say this guy is something else.”

And: “He arrives like a witch on a broomstick and produces the hocus pocus in front of goal”; “He soaks up defenders like a paper towel soaks up milk”; “In the United States, we give hurricanes a name - if they ever call one Lionel Messi, you’d better evacuate, people”; “It’s like he’s playing a tambourine on his knee.”

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Anything to add to the list from Saturday? Well, yes - when Messi hit the crossbar direct from a corner: “If Tiger Woods is watching maybe he could learn something about how to take a corner.” Oh Lord.

Quote of the week

"Arteta must look at the squad like a promiscuous girlfriend ..... he can't trust them at all." Rio Ferdinand on how Mikel possibly views his Arsenal players this weather, like a bunch of hussies. O.....kay.

Number of the week

3 - That's how many children Antoine Griezmann now has after the birth of Alba last week (April 8th, 2021), following the arrivals of Mia (April 8th 2016) and Amaro (April 8th 2019). Spooky.

Word of mouth

"The robbery is crystal clear. It's an inconceivable disgrace. Mother of beautiful love. What shamelessness. What indecency." Let's just say, the mayor of Valladolid, Oscar Puente, was a tad unimpressed by the refereeing in his team's defeat by Barcelona last week.

"I once went to see a player and as he walked on to the pitch, I saw he had a mohican. I just said to my scout: 'Let's go home, not interested.' That was a very short scouting trip." Ole Gunnar Solskjaer on once abandoning his interest in a player, when he was manager of Molde, because of his hair-do. We'll trust that it wasn't Erling Haaland.

Most patient streaker of the week

That would be Olmo Garcia who livened up the Europa League game between Granada and Manchester United no end last Thursday by running on to the pitch buck naked. What was most impressive, though, was the lengths to which he went to make the moment possible.

“He made it on to the pitch from underneath a large canvas, where he was hidden,” said the police statement. “He entered the stadium at 7am after getting through the security perimeter … he spent the next 14 hours hidden under the canvas in order not to be seen until he decided to make his move.”

That’s right, he lay in wait for 14 hours. According to Marca, he is known by locals as “The Naked Man of Granada” because he makes a habit of walking about the place wearing nothing but a smile. Why does he do this? “To raise awareness of human and environmental sustainability.” As good an excuse as any, that.

More word of mouth

"He's a magical man. Interpreting the novel decisions that he incorporates in to a game is already a way of falling in love with football." Marcelo Bielsa pays tribute to Pep Guardiola as only Marcelo Bielsa can. Mind you, after Saturday it was Pep doing the saluting.

"There are UFO images that have been published by the United States government. It is not false. I know that some UFOs are probably secret things of the governments. But actually I saw one once." Gareth Bale who, to be honest about it, has been a bit of an unidentified flying object himself at Spurs this season.