Sir, - Mary Banotti's informed article on Parental Alienation Syndrome (The Irish Times, November 16th) brings a very damaging problem to public attention, one which has become all too familiar to the courts and those engaged in family evaluations of parental custody conflicts. The legacy of one parent alienating the child from the other parent not only blights that child and family, including the offending parent, but also the extended family including grandparents and the generations to follow.
The evidence all around us is that separation, divorce and the formation of second families or step-families are becoming more familiar to us in Ireland. These transitions, like marriage itself, can be accomplished in a fulfilling manner, or they can wreak enormous human misery if not managed well enough. It is possible to help separating parents to avoid the worst excesses of bitter conflict and the way to do so is not costly, risky or esoteric. It is simply to promote the use of nonadversarial forms of dispute resolution for couples in crisis, including family therapy, couples counselling, and mediation. These services are currently recognised as more desirable than the legal adversarial route insofar as solicitors are obliged to inform their clients of the availability of these services.
Unfortunately, for a number of reasons, this measure appears to have little positive effect. More needs to be done now to make non-adversarial services of the highest quality available and to require couples in conflict to inform themselves fully about them or even to use them before being permitted access to the legal route, which should be a necessary option but one of last recourse.
This drum has been beaten by mediators, psychologists, social workers, couple and family therapists since the divorce referendum campaign. Must we wait to be immersed in the evidence of our neglect by the harrowing stories of friends, relations and the media? Mary Banotti's article should disturb us. Do we listen or put it out of sight and mind with last week's newspaper? - Yours, etc., Ed McHale, PhD,
Clanwilliam Institute, Grand Canal Quay, Dublin 2.