THE MAGPIE:WARREN BUFFET, the world's second richest man with around $40 billion stuffed into his back pocket, is one of those blokes whose every utterance is lit upon by gibbering fund managers eager to gobble up his advice and make squillions for themselves and their clients. If Buffet started investing in bird droppings, there'd be an unseemly scramble to buy guano.
So listen up! Apparently with time on his hands (well, what does an investor do in a recession?) Buffet has decided to give ukulele lessons. He’s a long-time devotee of the four- stringed mini-guitar from Hawaii (an instrument Magpie associates with gloomy inter-war end-of-pier music hall recitals by George Formby) and has teamed up with Girls Incorporated, a US outfit dedicated to inspiring girls to be strong, smart, and bold (by which they mean daring, not naughty).
Buffet has taken to giving free ukulele lessons to the North Omaha branch of Girls Inc. Natalia Partridge, aged 10, is hugely impressed.
“He’s a rich man, and he doesn’t show it. I thought he was going to be snobby and kind of mean, but he turned out to be really nice.”
Buffett spent about an hour with 13 girls teaching them Red River Valleyand Happy Birthday. It had to be pointed out to some of the girls who he was.
“After,” said Girls Inc executive director Roberta Wilhelm, “one girl came to the office and asked:‘Our ukulele teacher is the second-richest man in the world?’ And I said that’s true. And she said, ‘The first-richest doesn’t play?’”
*****
AND SO from Nebraska to Kansas where farmers are so concerned that their precious pigs might be in danger of catching swine flu from humans and are taking special measures to ensure that this does not happen.
Local hog farmer Ron Suther has banned visitors from his sow barns and required maintenance workers, delivery men and other strangers to report on recent travels and any illness before they step foot on his property.
*****
CUSTOMS OFFICERS in Los Angeles have arrested a smuggler – with 14 Asian songbirds wrapped up and hooked to his socks. Sony Dong was detained after a 15-hour flight to Los Angeles from Vietnam.
Police officers had found bird feathers and droppings on his socks, as well as tail feathers visible under his trousers, according to the US department of kustice. The birds included three red-whiskered bul-buls – listed as harmful under US law – four magpie robins (outrageous!) and six shama thrushes.
Appropriately, Dong’s accomplice was a fellow named Duc.
*****
A RETIRED history teacher in Australia is donating his tattooed body to an art gallery. Geoff Ostling (65) is virtually covered in colourful depictions of exotic flowers after a 15-year collaboration with acclaimed cult tattooist, eX de Merci.
Covering every part of his body, save for his face, neck and parts of his forearms, Ostling’s tattoos are on the theme of “all the flowers of a Sydney garden”.
He has pledged to donate his skin to Canberras National Gallery after his death. “To donate skin is not the most amazing thing in the world but the tattoos are revolutionary.”
*****
SCIENTISTS HAVE decided that birds really do dance to music – after studying Snowball the cockatoo on YouTube. A video of the exceptionally clever bird has convinced them that parrots – and also elephants – do feel the beat of music, giving them an inbuilt sense of rhythm for dancing.
Dr Aniruddh Patel, of the Neurosciences Institute in San Diego, California, said scientists began their research after becoming mesmerised by the footage of Snowball.
“I was very impressed and contacted Snowball’s owner in Indiana for a more formal test. This showed that Snowball wasn’t just mimicking the movements of somebody off-camera. And his movements followed the beat of his favourite BackStreet Boys song even when the tune was sped up or slowed down.”
See for yourself (2.5 million others have!) be searching Snowball – Our Dancing Cockatoo on YouTube.