Reader response:Earlier this month the HealthSupplement ran an article about a new scheme being advocated by the Irish Hospice Foundation (IHF). It is aimed at equipping health professionals to help people who lose a loved one in hospital to cope with that loss.
The HealthSupplement invited readers to share their experiences, good or bad, of a relative dying in hospital and how they were subsequently treated by the health services. There was a huge response. One reader wrote of both parents dying within the same month in the same hospital, and was full of praise for the hospital and the staff involved. Another wrote of how her mother's pending demise was being speculated upon by other patients in neighbouring beds, within earshot of her ill mother, and of how her mother's jewellery was stolen. Her father has never been told about this as the family feel it would be too painful for him.
A common recurring theme was that in general people were full of praise for the hospital staff, but felt that in many cases, the family were being told bad news in very adverse conditions, in public corridors or on the stairs of hospitals. Many of the letters were very poignant and served to shine a light on how the Irish health system can be found wanting and lacking in sensitivity when life-changing private grief is left to fend for itself in public places. Below, we print some of the responses to the article.
A Chara,
It is good to get a chance to write something positive about our health service, especially our wonderful nurses.
One night our mother got a severe bleed in the brain. From the moment the ambulance arrived until she died eight hours later in Beaumont Hospital our mother and my sisters were treated with the greatest respect and dignity (given the state of our hospitals at the time).
Even though she had celebrated her 80th birthday five months earlier, the staff did everything they could to see if there was any hope for her.
When they realised there was not, they took myself and my two sisters to a quiet room. Even their handling of this told us the news was not going to be good. They explained gently and clearly the prognosis.
They made the area very peaceful with candles and showed us where we could make tea and toast.
They continued to nurse mammy, turn her and monitor her breathing.
She died peacefully eight hours later.
I would like to thank the staff on duty that night for doing everything they could to make the journey of those final hours with our mother comfortable and peaceful.
Marian Neary Burke, Swords, Co Dublin
Dear Sir,
Two years ago I was pregnant with twins, I went into premature labour at 24+4 weeks and gave birth to two girls. They were transferred straight away to the intensive care unit in Holles Street (where I gave birth) and received excellent care there. One of my twins got a stomach infection and passed away two weeks later. My other twin had a severe bleed on her brain and the prognosis was not good in the long term - the doctors said she would be severely brain damaged and suggested terminating care.
Three weeks after she was born, after receiving the results of the most recent brain scan and after consultation with the specialists, we took her off the ventilator, on the understanding that her life would be ending very soon after doing so.
The nurses removed her tubes at 3.30pm and we had her in our arms and were shown into a room where we could be with her privately as she passed away. This room contained two plastic chairs and nothing else. It was freezing cold. We stayed in that room for seven hours as our little girl continued to breath and gasp while we held her.
Eventually, after about five hours, the bereavement sister brought a mattress so we could sit down more comfortably and hold our daughter.
At 11pm that night our daughter gave her last breath as we lay on the bare mattress.
I'm sure we were not the first couple to experience the death of a baby in Holles Street and I'm sure not the last and yet they had no provision for a comfortable, warm room where we could spend our last few hours with our baby.
My memories of that day are hugely sad, not helped by remembering how miserable and cold the place was where she eventually died. However, I want to stress that the staff could not have been kinder all throughout our time there.
Nikki Mitton
Dear Sir,
It is about 10 years since my older sister died in Loughlinstown Hospital. I would like to record our appreciation of the excellent kindness and attention we received on that sad occasion.
A private room was provided, advice given and a welcome cup of tea. We could offer no criticism whatsoever. Renewed thanks to all staff from George Colton and family, Cork.
Dear Sir,
Eleven years ago my son took his life. He was taken to the A&E Department at St Vincent's Hospital, Elm Park.
When my husband and I arrived we were greeted by Sister Manus, the sister in charge. She expressed her condolences and ushered us into the cubicle where Tony lay.
We had total privacy and a nurse arrived with a tray of tea and biscuits. During that day, relatives came to say goodbye to Tony and there was no attempt to rush things.
The removal took place later that week and I saw Sister Manus, prayer book in hand, walking solemnly in front of the hearse. At the gates of the hospital she moved aside and waited, head bowed, until the cars had passed. That gesture meant so much to my family and myself.
I wrote to the hospital afterwards expressing our appreciation at their sensitivity and compassion. I hope Sister Manus got my message and perhaps she might read this and know that her kindness and compassion helped us all so much on that day.
Noirin Scully
Last Sunday I was with a lady who died in St James's Hospital, Dublin. She received excellent care and had a very peaceful death.
I was given her personal belongings in what I would describe as a green plastic refuse sack. I was very annoyed and upset that this is what her last personal effects were reduced to. It is insensitive and disrespectful to the person who has died and to the bereaved.
I am a volunteer with a bereavement service and I hear how such insensitivities have an abiding memory for the bereaved.
IHF has designed a nice handover bag and I note from your paper that some hospitals have adopted something similar. Please highlight the need for all hospitals to follow suit.
Dervilla
Dear Sir,
In December 1999 I was admitted to St Vincent's in Dublin with acute pneumonia. There were six women in the ward, all with lung/respiratory illness.
I was admitted on a Tuesday and the woman in the next bed died on the Thursday. I never saw her, as the curtains were always drawn. I am sure the nurses (bar one) did their very best for her. But I can only hope that this poor lady was not conscious.
The ward was noisy, brightly lit and the television was always on, loudly. One patient insisted on having her portable radio on at high volume. Visiting time was a nightmare, as children were allowed to run around shouting, with no attempt to check them. As you can imagine, this was not a good environment for very ill people and it was dreadful that anyone should live her last days like this.
If I were diagnosed with a terminal illness and could not be sure of a place in a hospice, I would have to consider taking steps to end my life rather than face such indignity, such indifference and such noise as this woman had to endure.
Maeve Kennedy, Dublin