Tonight will be fine for maestro of melancholia

HOMER, he who wrote The Iliad and The Odyssey, is an interesting chappie. His name in Greek is Homeros, which means "hostage". Some academics have tied themselves up in knots about the etymology at play here.

The belief is that the name Homeros is back-extracted from a bunch of dudes known as the Homeridae, who were all performing poets. Loosely translated Homeridae means "the sons of hostages".

The ancient Greeks did like their wars - particularly really, really long ones - and when it came to the sons of hostages - aka prisoners of war - there was a bit of a dilemma. Nowadays, I suppose they call it the "Tebbit Test". This test was postulated by the Tory politician Norman Tebbit, who couldn't get his tiny little mind around the fact that a lot of British-Asians chose to support Pakistan or India in cricket matches against the now distressingly fashionable English cricket team. The reckless piece of asininity known as the Tebbit Test has it that no British Asian can be considered British, despite having being born and brought up in the country, if they cheer on any team playing against England.

In a somewhat similar way the ancient Greeks couldn't bring themselves to trust the Homeridae when it came to wars. Whose side would they take? Would they, in the middle of deadly combat, suddenly remember their history, and perfidiously switch sides? To solve the problem, the Homeridae were kept well away from the battlefield and were charged with the altogether more difficult task of remembering the area's stock of epic poetry.

Strictly speaking, the Homeridae weren't poets; they were more professional reciters of poetry or "rhapsodes". Unfortunately this is not where the term "rap" comes from. The point here is that Homer was as much a rhapsode, i.e. a singer, as he was a poet. This is all being entered in evidence in the push to have this year's Nobel Prize for Literature awarded to Leonard Cohen.

The campaign began in Canada and was kick-started by a well-known broadcaster there called Paul Kennedy. For shorthand purposes, Kennedy is known as the "Canadian Melvyn Bragg". "Leonard Cohen is a universal poet in a way that I can't think of anybody since Homer in the western tradition - and, of course, Homer was a singer," says Kennedy.

Kennedy is not a lone drunk in a midnight choir on this one. This is the most sensible idea I've heard all year. Public forums are now being set up to promote this remarkable moment of clarity. The prize, though is dished out by a secretive Swedish academy committee and they are known to frown quite heavily on anything that could be considered "canvassing".

Screw that. We want Leonard Cohen to win this and we will email and text our feelings if necessary. The most salient point that has to be communicated to the committee is that Cohen is a poet who simply allowed some of his poems to become songs. And if you want to get technical about it, you could assemble a bunch of singing experts who could all readily point out that Cohen could not accurately be described as a "singer" in that he doesn't really possess the appropriate range of musical tones in his voice. Which is not to knock his voice ... well, it is ... but you know what I mean.

This would all entail a vertical shift in how culture is classified on the part of the committee. About time too. Earlier this year academics held a symposium (whatever that is) on the works of Morrissey called Why Pamper Life's Complexities? And just last week in the US, there was another symposium (it must be the new cocaine) on Bruce Springsteen where delegates discussed such topics as "A Marxist Perspective on Darkness On The Edge Of Town", "The Boss and The Bible" and my favourite, "Springsteen is to New Jersey what Santa Claus is to the North Pole".

The time is right. The time is now. Vote Leonard.