Love's slight thing
Sting: "I Was Brought To My Senses" (A & M)
In which Mr Gordon Sumner experiences a romantic road to Damascus; a musical epiphany in which he realises just what a wonderful gal he's got. "I walked out this morning/It was like a veil had been removed from before my eyes", sings the Sting, over a nice, jazzy backing, before expounding on the wonders of nature and the joys of life. I suppose Sting is trying to tell us that love is a bit of a religious experience, but this insipid tune won't win many converts.
Peter Andre: "Flava"
The man with the six pack stomach and the penchant for nursery rhyme reggae tunes returns with a rapping sort of tune in the vein of Backstreet Boys. This one is not quite as irritating as Mysterious Girl, but the thought of more video close ups of Mr Andre's abs is just too horrible to contemplate.
Alison Limerick: "Make It On My Own" (BMG)
The lady named after The Cranberries' home town continues her club crusade with this funky loungy anthem of independence and self sufficiency. Very encouraging to know that a girl can get along with just her handbag and a handful of beats.
Stretch & Vern: "I'm Alive"
With summer coming to an end and autumn looming large, mankind has been preoccupied with one burning question:
what are we going to dance to instead of Macarena? This latest contender for the Wallypop crown has been packing; dancefloors across the UK, but sorry, it's just not silly enough; to succeed Los Del Rios.
Catatonia: "You've Got A Lot To Answer For" (Blanco Y Negro)
From the moment the gritty yet gentle voice of Cerys hits you, you're absolutely, impossibly honked on this heavenly, hard edged guitar tune. The owner of the sexiest voice in Wales keeps you wrapped around her little finger with lines like "You said I've got the looks/well I've got the means/let's get together/ mix each other's dreams". How can you resist?
The Cardigans: "Lovefool"
The new single from the greatest Swedish group ever (bar Abba, of course) is a quirky, bittersweet tune about love, loss and lies. Singer Nina mixes the melancholy with the whimsical, making light `n' fluffy of the situation, like Agnetha and Anna Frid rolled into one bundle of Swedish sorrow.
Coade: "Too Young" (Treasure Island Discs)
Catchy, infectious, Beatlesque - is this another Britpop hit? No, it's a Dublin band led by the eponymous Coade, and featuring some good friends of mine on guitar and drums, which has nothing to do with the fact that I can't stop humming the damn thing.