DAIL SKETCH / Kathy Sheridan: Thirty-six Bills before the House, "endless" reports, the Dáil already sitting late and on four days a week, sighed Bertie, in the tone of a man fairly impressed at his own staying power. The predictable yelps of incredulity that Bertie might appear in the House on a record-breaking, four consecutive days never made a dent in the man.
Nor did Caoimhin O Caolain's description of the Coalition's "progress" report as "a contribution to Irish mythology". The tear-jerker of the day could have been Pat Rabbitte's sly little inquiry as to whether the "Abbottstown Bill" would be appearing any time soon.
"No, I don't think it will," said Bertie mournfully.
The Opposition made more hay over Michael McDowell's failure to show up for questions relating to the death of a young Cork man. Enda Kenny said the no-show went "right to the essence of democracy".
"A Cabinet Minister hasn't answered an adjournment debate one of 20 times in the past few years," snorted Pat Rabbitte.
"It is a regular feature of the House that at times Ministers will substitute for their colleagues," said Bertie, grimly.
"Not in the bar", yelped Gay Mitchell, in the interjection du jour. The notion of the anti-drink crusading Minister for Justice caught loitering in the bar - of all places - while officially down for what Bertie called a "prior engagement" sure tickled a few fancies.
There was more hay about election overspending. Tackles came from every quarter about what Bertie's plans might be regarding further increases to spending limits. The last (50 per cent) increase was brought in before the last election by Noel Dempsey.
And indeed there are badly-behaved folk stalking the land. One FF candidate used the increase to poster the route of the St Patrick's Day parade, according to the Labour leader.
Bertie was apologising to no one. "It is entirely unreasonable that a wealthy TD of his own resources - and there are plenty of them in this House - could spend a fortune of his own money right up to the campaign, whereas another individual who has little or no money has to fight a campaign during the three weeks," he said.
"The system at the moment is designed to make sure that in the years ahead this House is full of millionaires, and that is a bad system." Ah. Bless.
Forty-five minutes later the Opposition was still wondering aloud how the Taoiseach intended to prevent more millionaires getting into the House by raising the election spend.
Eamon Ryan and the Ceann Comhairle went head to head on how much he could say while inquiring about the progress of a Bill. "Every deputy can't get up and give an opinion on legislation", complained the CC to hoots of hilarity.
"Imagine it," said Brendan Howlin. "Imagine deputies being able to give an opinion on legislation".