Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Over a decade on the road, and we remain strapped into our booster seats in the back of the car, Miriam Lord.
There have been many comfort stops along the way to keep us amused: Towards 2013, Transport 21, the National Spatial Strategy. A hatful of budgets. Countless visions. Fabulous blueprints.
The National Plan on Social Exclusion is due to be unveiled next month.
No. No. Seriously. Don't walk away. Heed the words of the Tánaiste as he speaks in Dublin Castle. This is "a genuine milestone for Ireland". Hold tight.
The Taoiseach is equally sincere. "I think we are serious about this plan, as we were about the other three plans" Nearly there.
The Government had a problem yesterday. They've been driving the nation for years now, urging their increasingly fractious passengers to keep the faith because that glorious destination they promised is just a few more plans down the road. But as this interminable journey unfolds, the passengers are growing tired.
So yet again, the message is relayed that we are viewing the landscape through major windows of opportunity - but it's still from the wrong side of the glass.
But as another milestone passes, a new question keeps popping up: have we not passed this way before?
Bertie Ahern, Michael McDowell and Brian Cowen were aware of this sense of restlessness when they staged their latest National Development Plan. While the set-piece occasion warranted a certain amount of pomp and fanfare, it wasn't turned into the sort of showbiz production number that accompanied previous launches.
Wisely, they abandoned a bells-and-whistles approach and introduced the plan with the political equivalent of a polite cough.
The trio scuttled in silence on to the platform in St Patrick's Hall, where an audience of the usual suspects drawn from the ranks of the national partners were waiting to receive the details.
The members of the media were packed upstairs into the minstrels' gallery so the national partners didn't have to gaze upon them.
Meanwhile, the four Marys - Harney, Coughlan, Hanafin and Wallace - sat together in the second row behind an all-male front row of Ministers. Clearly the Taoiseach picked up a few tips on his trip to Saudi Arabia.
"A better quality of life for all" was one of two slogans on the backdrop, illustrated by an image of a little girl on a bicycle fitted with stabilisers. "Transforming Ireland" was the other.
The chandeliers dimmed, and a brief film was shown to give an idea of what a transformed Ireland could be like. Lots of boats and buses and lovely scenery.
The voiceover told us how far we have travelled as "a nation that has reversed its own history". Perhaps Fianna Fáil could use that for the election literature: "We're still coming to grips with managing the country, but at least we've mastered time travel."
This mastery of time was put to good use yesterday. "With this new plan," soothed the voice, "Ireland will again be transformed."
Taoiseach Ahern spoke first. "It is no exaggeration to assert that we are at a point in our national history where we have never been able to see more clearly the possibility of our full potential. And we should aim to settle for nothing less."
More of the same from Tánaiste McDowell, who played a bit part.
But the afternoon belonged to Minister for Finance Brian Cowen, who bored his audience into submission with a lengthy slideshow accompanied by a mind-numbing run though the strategic road map.
The national partners sat stoically through it all, lured by the carrot of a cup of tea at the end of it. "That was like sitting through three Masses," sighed one of them, as he trudged out his complimentary biscuit.
Everyone wanted to appear genuine. "You'll see that we're genuinely on a mission to transform this country," said Bertie. Again.
There was much talk of rolling out of initiatives, although the main one was omitted. On the foot of this plan, Bertie Ahern will be rolled out in every constituency throughout the land from now until polling day.
Speaking of spatial strategy, Cowen said one of the plan's main objectives "is the implementation of the 2002 National Spacial Strategy". It must be genuine this time.
But what was new apart from the amount of money on the table? Bertie explained the new NDP was "the arch" for all the other plans.
He looked very tanned after his recent trip to the Middle East, and in light of the plan's value-for-money pledge, it was good to see he's still getting wear out of the free shoes he got in Westport last year.
He got them in anticipation of all the walking he will do during the election campaign.
But yesterday's event was nothing to do with the election. It was just a slip of the tongue when the Taoiseach referred to issues "in the last electer, plan" that still had to be completed.
We're just not there yet.