The suicide of teenager Leanne Wolfe should teach us that bullying comes in many forms - and can have terrible consequences, writes Marie Murray
The death of young Leanne Wolfe has highlighted once more the violence of bullying and the failure of society to deal with this phenomenon. Individual tragedy usually reflects societal ills. Leanne's mother is aware of this in her public call for her daughter's death to be recorded as "death by bullying". She wants the external factors that were part of Leanne's death to be recognised. A verdict of "death by self-cause" doesn't cover it for her. Because the reasons many people end their own lives do not begin with the self, but in the unacceptable harshness and permitted practices in our society. Leanne's death throws them into sharp relief.
There are too many recent examples of societal pathology intruding on personal lives and ending them. They jolt us into examining the psychological environment in which a generation is growing up. It is too easy to castigate young people as individually responsible for societal problems, as if they create rather than reflect them. If alcohol abuse, cocaine use and astounding levels of violence and viciousness, bullying and uncontrolled rage, are an increasing feature of interpersonal interactions, the question is this: where do they originate and how are they sustained?
The models of interaction in a society influence that society. A dominant model of interaction in this society is often a competitive, aggressive one. Bullying is publicly allowed: in tabloid rumour, innuendo and outright exposure of the frailties and vulnerabilities of public figures and private lives. There is often an envious nastiness in critiques of the clothes, weight and personality of the celebrities within their camera sights. Voyeuristic insatiability is fed by multiple genres of exploitation, humiliation and degradation of people.
Reality and confessional TV as a global genus has distinguished itself by debasement of many vulnerable, mentally ill, intellectually challenged and socially deprived people; by the narcissistic need of fabricated celebrity and those with deep psychological, behavioural and social problems. Radio debates frequently degenerate into angry assertions by irate individuals: the loudest, most persistent, aggressive voice drowning out others. Politicians frequently castigate each others' policies rather than stating their own. Corporate bullying with intrusive, invasive, frequently offensive advertising is pervasive, and despite our political correctness there are increasing demeaning discourses permitted about men, women and older people in tandem with the commercial exploitation and sexualised commodification of childhood.
This is bullying. This fits the most-used definition of bullying, which is the Scandinavian one that "bullying is long-standing violence, mental or physical, conducted by an individual or a group and directed against an individual who is not able to defend himself or herself in the actual situation". This is why bullying is such an incapacitating experience.
It can involve physical assault, blackmail, systematic threat and intimidation, damage to possessions, attack on character, public humiliation and assault on mental health and well-being.
Bullying is the problem that causes more emotional agony than any other school problem. It rates among children's highest school worries. It intrudes into the workplace and causes inefficiency, absenteeism and loss of morale. A Swedish study that traced the effects of bullying into adulthood found that bullying in various forms accounted for a significant number of suicides a year.
PEOPLE WHO ARE bullied feel worthless, helpless and hopeless, just as Leanne's diaries revealed her to be. Their confidence and self-esteem are eroded. They may believe they are repulsive to others and that their situations will never change. They often become depressed, which may make them touchy, irritable, moody, or behaviourally extreme. And they may incur the wrath of school and home, both being unaware that the origin lies in bullying.
This is why parents today will want to know the signs and symptoms that their child might be bullied and how to address the problem. For one of the saddest aspects of bullying is the inability of most people who are being bullied to articulate what is happening to them, or to tell others.
The school-goer who is being bullied by school "friends" is likely to display mood changes, be happier during school holidays, show deterioration in academic achievement, be unwilling to talk about friends, want to be driven to and from school, have unexplained cuts and bruises, too many "accidents" or sports injuries, damaged possessions or torn clothes.
Those being bullied may develop physical complaints, criticise themselves, lose possessions and be angry when questioned about them. They may want extra money for school. They may be upset at text messages or after computer use.
What Leanne Wolfe's death shows is that parents need help identifying and dealing with bullying, and that schools need policies that are comprehensive and enforced because immediate action is required when school bullying is identified. Schools may not be responsible for the multitude of circumstances that cause bullying, but whether bullying is facilitated or challenged in their school is up to them. And whether or not it is challenged in our society is up to us.
What is called "indirect violence" - which is the violence of silence, of non-assistance to those in danger whether they be individual, local or global, of not providing policies, legislation and societal intervention - joins all of us in violence perpetrated upon others. Leanne's legacy is to remind us all of our responsibility to tackle bullying in all its forms everywhere.
Marie Murray is director of the student counselling services in UCD and co-author of The ABC of Bullying. Her latest book is Living Our Times (Gill and Macmillan).