Thurles stallions show fillies how to swing 'handbags'

TV View:Another one of those Sundays that leaves you addled, Fernando Alonso overtaking Diarmuid O'Sullivan in Monaco, O'Sullivan outfielding Anders Hansen in Semple Stadium, and Hansen being pipped at the post by Finsceal Beo at Wentworth. Or was it the Curragh? "She's a helluva filly," swooned Ted Walsh, but by then, smoke billowing from the remote control, we didn't know if he was talking about Fernando, Diarmuid or Anders. Addled.

There weren't, as it proved, too many fillies on view in Thurles but a few low blows here and there almost resulted in the stallions of Cork and Clare being gelded. "A free-for-all broke out and it was a good minute before order was restored - an extraordinary start to the match," reported Michael Lyster.

This, lest ye didn't hear, all occurred before the game actually started, the teams colliding on their way out, in a "this tunnel ain't big enough for the both of us" sort of way.

"It's kind of handbag stuff in reality," said Tomás Mulcahy, over pictures of fellas knocking lumps out of each other, as the tunnel dispute spilled on to the pitch. The photographers, we noted, had gathered in front of the team's benches, but there was divil a player to snap.

Cyril Farrell reckoned it was "handbags" too, between a pair of teams "hyped up to the hilt".

"It could have got out of hand," he said, over more pictures of fellas knocking more lumps out of each other.

"It's a great ould start to the Munster Championship - isn't it great to get away from the politics," he said.

Fair point - nice one Cyril.

Commentator Ger Canning had enough to be thinking about, what with the inclusion of a pair of Kieran Murphys in the Cork team, Kieran "Fraggy" Murphy and Kieran "Hero" Murphy, his chief concern being that Fraggy would turn out to be Cork's hero on the day, making a confusing situation irredeemable.

As it proved no heroes were really required, Michael Duignan, Ger's companion in the commentary box, concluding that no one was all that pushed about winning the Munster Championship, that the two teams had left all their passion in the tunnel.

Cyril begged to differ. "You go in to the dressingrooms at half-time now, Michael, and you'll see whether the guys want to win a Munster Championship or not - there'll be skin and hair flying off the wall," he said. Michael declined the invite, intent on retaining skin and hair.

Still, though, Duignan stuck to his guns, suggesting it was a squib of the dampish kind, which couldn't be said of the meeting of Donegal and Armagh in Ballybofey. "The intensity of the Ulster Championship sometimes makes the Coliseum look like a bouncy castle," said Tony Davis at half-time. Even sitting in RTÉ's Thurles studio he could feel the heat. Colm O'Rourke, as we know, is as fond of Ulster football as he is of toothache but complimented both sides on producing a "let's concentrate on the match and forget about the ball" contest of "manly" proportions. "If you're looking for good open football in the second half I wouldn't hold your breath," he said.

Donegal, of course, won it comfortably in the end, by a point, a rare-enough triumph over Armagh that had Colm lavishing them with praise.

"They had one point from play in the second half and a goal that was a very lucky one - Armagh were the better team, they had more method to their play from start to finish. It was a very bad display by Donegal, a flaky one. Anyone looking at them today wouldn't have any fear of them."

Tír Chonaill Abú, then.

Colm was almost as enthusiastic about Donegal as the expression that spread across Johnny Giles's face as Peter Collins described Ireland's trip to America, for the games against Ecuador and Bolivia, as a "feel-good" experience. Hands up. How many of you sat up in to the early hours to watch the Ecuador game? Hello? Anybody there? Well, your loss.

There was (rugby World Cup year and all) significantly more enthusiasm in the RTÉ studio for Ireland's trip to Argentina, even if Eddie O'Sullivan left as many regulars at home as Steve Staunton did. This, after all, was some fellas' chance to stake their claim ahead of the World Cup squad, like Jerry Flannery, who, as Brent told us, "wants to be the number one number two".

The game would, of course, have ended with an agreeable victory if it hadn't been for the intervention of the boot of a chap by the name of Felipe Contepomi. A familiar name, too - don't we know that fella from somewhere? Was he Finsceal Beo's jockey in Monaco yesterday, beating Diarmuid O'Sullivan in the play-off at Wentworth?