Sunday's only grand, though Celtic are given the slam

TV View:Grand Slam Sunday! Inverness Caledonian Thistle v Glasgow Celtic! "It doesn't get any bigger than that!" as Sky Sports' main man Richard Keys would put it.

Except, of course, Grand Slam Sunday was Liverpool v Manchester United and Arsenal v Chelsea on Richard's channel. Setanta were much more modest about their offering, simply billing it: Live Scottish football.

Setanta have a lot to learn in the whip-'em-into-a-frenzy department.

In the end we saw most of Richard's Grand Slam because we left Celtic after they scored two goals in 74 first-half seconds, safe in the knowledge they'd run up the kind of score more often amassed against England's bowling attack on a flat wicket at the MCG.

By the time we returned, Gordon Strachan was being interviewed on Setanta and had the look of a man who had just found the Loch Ness Monster in his bath - a touch startled.

"Och, ma brains are scrambled," he told the reporter, and with that he was off.

"I cannae believe it," said the man in the studio, who looked a bit like Frank McAvennie and turned out to be Frank McAvennie. Frank, incidentally, has the look of a man who finds the Loch Ness Monster in his bath every morning and thinks nothing of it, but in fairness to him he says he's left his drug-taking days behind him, so maybe he was just jet-lagged after his flight from Glasgow to Inverness.

But, yes, Celtic had lost 3-2, leaving them only 30 points clear of Gretna (and two ahead of Rangers, who have two games in hand), which meant that nothing was impossible on Grand Slam Sunday.

"Of course the title cannot be won today . . ." said Richard. We felt a "but" in the air, so to speak. "But," he said, and away we went.

Liverpool, Richard told us, hadn't beaten United in the league since in and around 1763, so if they didn't end that calamitous run their title challenge would be over, finished, kaput, finito, banjaxed.

We're paraphrasing Richard, but that was the gist of the question he put to Ruud "I finish every sentence with also and did I mention I played for Meelan?" Gullit.

But Ruud wouldn't play ball at all, pointing out that this was, in fact, only December - the clue being the big Santa who greeted the Sky Sports team as they arrived for duty at Arsenal's ground. Santa is notable by his absence in, say, April.

Jamie Redknapp, who's still mystified by the joke he found in his Christmas cracker a year ago (What goes oh, oh, oh? Santa Claus walking backwards), was much more amenable to Richard's breathless all-or-nothing, do-or-die declarations about Grand Slam Sunday, but was confident-ish that Liverpool could maintain the form that saw them annihilate Marseille in the Champions League.

But let's be honest, the only reason Liverpool are still in the Champions League is because the RTÉ panel keep forecasting their demise (see Tuesday).

Phone RTÉ now and you're greeted with this message: "Thank you for calling Radio Telefís Éireann. Press (1) for audience tickets, (2) for the press office and (3) for complaints about Gilesie's and Eamo's comments on Liverpool's Champions League campaign."

Anyway, the match started and 90 minutes plus injury time later it ended, as is oft the case, and, naturally enough, United won.

Then we were off to London to see Arsenal against Chelsea, a gentle affair, apart from the 10 yellow cards. It turned out to be a grand Sunday, then. All it was missing was the Slam.

Before saying goodbye, Richard asked Ruud about the big news of the week, the appointment as England manager of the man who once coached Meelan also.

Richard: "Have England chosen well in Fabio Capello?"

Ruud: "I think he's a good coach, um . . ."

Richard: "It sounds like there's a but in there somewhere."

Ruud: "No, no, no, no, but he has always been a club coach."

Perhaps, but he's a worldly man, is Fabio, as they told us on Sky News on appointment day.

"It's not that I'm hedonistic, loving travel, good wine, fine Spanish jamon and good clothes. It's just that I don't want to be ignorant in this life. I'm not a tourist, I'm a traveller," they quoted him as once declaring.

And: "Art makes me passionate. I particularly like the Black period in Goya's career or some of Velazquez's best work - he was the first impressionist in art history. Walking round great art like that boosts your spirits."

Tell you what, he's many things, is Fabio, but he's no 'Arry Redknapp.