Still learning on and off the pitch

BRIAN O'DRISCOLL'S DIARY: The game here in Paris two seasons ago is, of course, a very special memory. I'd be lying if I didn't say I'd seen it, eh, once or twice on video. I did a promotion recently and they put together some of my moments in international rugby on video, which obviously included the three tries I scored in France. It still brings a great buzz whenever you see it and you see how happy everybody was.

I saw a photo a while ago of the final whistle and me with my arms up in the air. There's just this look of complete disbelief. I'm nearly white myself and everyone is beaming. That picture alone, and even thinking about it now, gives me goosebumps.

It was just a fantastic day and certainly one that will always stick in my memory. For all the low points you have - that high would almost make up for every one of them.

I remember the dinner that night being great craic and just everyone being in such high spirits. Going to Kitty O'Shea's and it being mad. Paris was Dublin for a night. But I wasn't prepared for what followed.

At Dublin Airport the next day there were television and media crews, and I hadn't expected that. I'd had quite a heavy night and the last thing I needed was glaring lights shining down on me. I was stumped for some of the questions, and that was the first shock of being in the media spotlight, and people wanting to know things about you.

Without a shadow of a doubt my life changed after that day. In profile mostly, both in my rugby profile and personal profile, which I really don't like getting into, because my private life is my private life. I don't like things written about me that aren't rugby related, or anything written about my family or anyone that's close to me.

The week after the game in Paris was particularly bonkers. I tried to keep a low profile because it was so mad and I didn't know how to handle it, so I diverted everything towards my dad. But eventually it did calm down and things returned to normal.

I've mentioned before how the kids in our estate came to our door trick-or-treating at Hallowe'en, nudging each other and saying "you see, I told you he lived here" and asking for autographs. They're still coming up to our door and asking for autographs. I'd say some of them have been up five or six times. They must be trading them for Ronan O'Gara autographs.

My eyesight's not the best but you can feel eyes on you. You still know when people are either talking about you or looking at you, and if you're with Denis (Hickie) or Shaggy (Shane Horgan) or someone from the team, that makes it even worse. Of course you're drawing attention to yourself, but what are you meant to do? Not have pals and go out and enjoy yourself with them? Because you play and train as a professional rugby player you can't go out whenever you want, so the people you go out with tend to be rugby people. They have the same time off that you do. So I've probably become an awful lot closer to the lads in the last two years than I have to anyone else. Still, my own mates from home go out with the lads and it's nice to mix the two.

We're a very close-knit family. My mum, Ger, has been fantastic, and one of the really big buzzes that internationals give me is the satisfaction it gives to my family. I still get berated at Sunday dinner by my sisters, Julie and Susan. They've left home, but they're still available for a chat and they keep my feet on the ground.

My dad is my mentor, agent and adviser as well as my dad, and Fester (Keith Wood) has been a big help, a guiding light off the pitch. But with all of that, there has to be an element of ground-breaking yourself. You have to learn, in a lot of cases by mistakes, and I have done that and I still am doing that.

You have to be careful not to be over-exposed, because people will quickly get bored of you. So that's a fine line, doing enough to keep the profile ticking over, but not over-indulging.

I've been lucky also to meet some very interesting people that I would never have got the chance to meet otherwise. Recently I was at the Irish Music Meteor Awards with, as one newspaper put it, "a handsome young guy, Ciarán Scally". Skids has been a pal of mine for years and I knew I'd have good craic with him. Next minute we found ourselves sitting in front of Bono and the boys.

You want to talk to them forever, but at the same time you're thinking, "What am I meant to say to these guys?" By all accounts Larry Mullen was at the Italian game, and, on the night, Edge seemed to know his rugby.

YOU meet people from other sports. I was at the BBC sports awards and met the Olympic rowers, among others. I've met Padraig Harrington, and because you're in the same area you have a tendency to know about one another. I'd have a big interest in golf and in Padraig because he's Irish, and it's nice to think that some people like that might regard you highly in a rugby capacity.

I enjoy golf, chilling out with my mates or just watching telly. I'm as sociable as the next person and I like going out for a pint. Everyone changes between the age of 21 and 23, and that's been heightened by what's happened in the last two years.

I'm thankful for all of it, but I hope I've basically remained the same person. I feel I'm a more confident person. I can talk to people in situations I wouldn't have been able to before.

I hope I've learnt more about the game and that I'm also a more confident player as well. I like to think I talk more on the pitch: making decisions, taking some of the pressure off my outhalf, communicating better defensively, and just working on some of the weaker parts of my game.

My kicking needed work, and I did a good bit of work on it during the summer but I've probably slackened off a bit lately, which is naughty. Overall, though, I'm possibly less inclined to accept mistakes since the Lions.

People say I'm more of a marked man, but there'll always be more space in some games than others. You can't be a marked man if everybody is running great lines, and that was the case in the Scottish game. Maggsy (Kevin Maggs) was running such great lines, and how can you leave him alone? And the passes were on the money. If everyone is working hard there's going to be space for someone, and that day it happened the gaps were for me, and in the Italy game there was less room.

I was actually quite pleased with my Italian game. I thought I did the basics pretty well, kicked one or two stray ones, but sometimes people - I think it's mostly the media - expect too much.

This will be a better French team and a better midfield than we've faced in the last two years. Damien Traille seems to have a great all-round game. He's built like a small bicycle shed, he kicks long from the deck and from hand, defensively he looks good and he's got a bit of gas too. Tony Marsh is essentially a Kiwi and he's a big unit.

But we're a better team than two years ago as well. I think we know more of what we're about, and apart from the slip-up against England we've become a more consistent side. With that comes confidence.

I'd be the first to admit we're still a little off the pace of the very top sides, but we still think that we can give any team a run for their money.

This will be my 10th international this season and I've played about 22 games all told. They've been a very high standard, but you get over the mental drain once another game approaches.

As confident as you might be, you still fear going over to France. We still need to be very much on top of our game, like we were two years ago. We defended well for 20 minutes and then attacked well for 60. So I think we have to go out to attack them and not let them play. Here's to a repeat of two years ago.

(In an interview with Gerry Thornley)