Snarling pundits left to chew over unsavoury tournament antics

Eamo puts the boot in on his British peers while Gordon on ITV depresses all with his game devoid of morals

Thu, Jun 26, 2014, 23:55

“I’d rather be bitten by Luis Suarez than have my leg broken or my leg smashed,” he said.

Darragh Maloney: “It’s not much of a choice though Eamon, is it?”

Not really, but you got the point. Giorgio Chiellini lives to fight another day – granted, in a nibbled kind of way – which leaves you wanting to talk to Joe to ask why are we more upset about a chomp than a leg-breaker?

Michael O’Neill, the Northern Ireland manager, had some sympathy for Suarez too, although his deer-caught-in-the-headlights look suggested he’d have preferred if Eamon didn’t reveal that he’d said off air that he “hoped he’d get away with it because he loves watching him play football”. “I’m not shopping you, Michael,” but he totally had.

Meanwhile, based on the previous 48-ish hours or so on RTÉ, you sensed this might be the day that our bet on another World Cup biting incident occurring would pay off - but, damn it, Kenny Cunningham wasn’t on duty, only Richie Sadlier, so we’ll have to wait to see if it’s gnashers at dawn another time.

New levels

Kenny, as we know hasn’t quite seen eye to eye with Eamon thus far, that Apres Match sketch, where they came to blows over which World Cup competing country was the best holiday destination (“Costa Rica,” said Eamon, “Japan,” said Kenny, and thereafter it was war, over Sushi and the like) a thing of very lovely beauty. But Squirtgate took it to new levels.

On the off chance that you missed it, Kenny and Richie differed somewhat over the wisdom of Argentina’s Ezequiel Lavezzi squirting water over his manager, Alejandro Sabella, “if you’d done that to Mick McCarthy you’d have been lifted off your feet, literally,” said Kenny, and you’d imagine he was truth-telling.

“You’re getting too angry about everything,” said Richie, and Kenny sizzled, and that’s the moment the bet was placed. He’ll nibble Kenny’s shoulder yet, or vice versa, it’s only a matter of time.

Back to the football and Guy Mowbray told Mark Lawrenson that the United States fans were chanting their slogan, ahead of their encounter with Germany, “I believe that we will win”.

“Woah, they must have stayed up all night thinking of that one,” quipped Lawro.

Any way, the USA lost but kind of won, which will leave them even more confused about sawker Stateside, as our favourite Twitter person, usasoccerguy, put it:

“Looking like a disappointing end to the group sector for the US who will only go through as the winningest loser as things stand. #soccer.”

You might say the same about Luis, the winningest loser.

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