Sky's the limit for banal coverage

The crease in the cushion grew more pronounced as the day unfolded, the imprint a reminder of the effort expended in watching as much television sport as the boredom threshold would permit on Saturday. It was excruciating at times, tremendously difficult to avoid grabbing the remote control and looking to be rescued by a film: at one stage The Tweenies would have sufficed.

The day began at 10 a.m. as Sky Sports 2 previewed what was ostensibly the Lions' first serious collision on their Australian tour - the match against Queensland Reds. Mark Durden-Smith hosted the studio discussion that included former Lions coach Ian McGeechan and former England and Lions scrumhalf Dewi Morris.

The preamble never rose above the banal. Of course it was going to be difficult, of course Queensland would present the biggest threat of the tour so far and of course it was an opportunity for the starting XV to throw down the gauntlet in the scramble for Test places. It was only when their Australia-based roving reporter Graham Simmons was introduced that a little bite was added.

Simmons had collared Australian coach Rod MacQueen on the touchline at Ballymore and waded in immediately. "We are told that Queensland haven't had much time to prepare for this game and obviously we know that three of their big hitters are missing. Are you expecting a genuine contest this evening? Have Queensland got a chance?"

MacQueen looked a little taken aback, laughed and mustered: "I hope they have," before going on to elaborate why. The Australian coach though warmed to the confrontation and when Simmons asked him to name the areas in which the Australians would be better than the Lions, given what he (MacQueen) had seen to date, and the extensive research gathered on the opposition, MacQueen's smile did not camouflage the flinty response.

"If I really thought we had one (a chance), I wouldn't be telling you anyway," said MacQueen, before neatly slipping back to the public relations speak of buttering the Lions' egos with a few well-chosen words.

The Lions' first-half performance was sumptuous, the second half less compelling with the exception of a well worked try, conceived by Jonny Wilkinson and finished beautifully by Brian O'Driscoll.

Indeed O'Driscoll's performance did not meet with the approval of Morris and McGeechan in the studio, both of whom felt he was trying too hard in the first half. Instead the armchair duo celebrated the performance of fellow centre, Ireland's Rob Henderson who had a fine game and who, they claimed, had laid a very strong marker for the Test team.

McGeechan pointed out that Henderson and England's Will Greenwood were the two "form" centres. What both McGeechan and Morris failed to point out was that O'Driscoll was being marked by Daniel Herbert, the Australian Test star and one of the best centres in world rugby. The Irishman's reputation also drew tacklers like moths to a flame and most of the time his decision to take pedestrian ball into contact and not just ship it on took guts.

This is an area in which Sky's rugby coverage is exposed: it is long on quantity and short on quality. Miles Harrison is adequate, his cohort in the commentary box, Stuart Barnes far more authoritative but the whole package has really been rescued by the presence of former Australian great Michael Lynagh. His comments are sharp and incisive.

Simmons needs to refrain at times from the fan-with-a-typewriter style that dogged his post-match interviews with Martin Johnson and Wilkinson, and from his cringe-inducing desire to ingratiate himself with the interviewees. The lesson of BBC soccer pundit Garth Crooks should serve as a reminder to all who crave the approval of interviewees. To worship at their altar is to abdicate all remnants of professionalism.

Crooks had promised David Beckham, prior to the game against Greece that he would get a mohican haircut, a la Beckham, if England won. The following week on Football Focus, Crooks sported his new cut in all its muppet splendour.

The afternoon on Sky Sports offered the South Africa-France clash at Ellis Park, in which the French prevailed. Devoid of tedious build-up, it was refreshing to just concentrate on a match.

But when it comes to taking tedium to new levels Sky Sports have cornered the market with their coverage of the US Open golf championship from Southern Hills, Tulsa Oklahoma. Reliant on television pictures from the US networks ESPN and NBC, advertisements and endless prattle bedraggle Sky's coverage.

The live commentary is fine, especially the thoughts of Butch Harmon and the insight offered by Howard Clark who pounds the fairways, trailing the top players, but those who wish to chart the progress of non Americans have to satisfy themselves with the occasional snippet over six or sevens hours of live coverage: those non-Americans at the top of the leaderboard being an honourable exception.

Otherwise the viewer is better served by turning to teletext to monitor their interests. Small wonder, therefore, that for most golfing fans, The US Masters and British Open hold a far greater attraction, not least because the BBC still enjoy the rights to cover both events.