Scotland 3, England 29: There may have been bigger anti-climaxes in the long history of Calcutta Cup contests, but as England's victorious squad headed south yesterday it was difficult to recall a less rousing start to a Six Nations championship. Hammering the Scots was never supposed to be this easy, and, for all their satisfaction at a record winning margin on auld enemy soil, English euphoria was noticeably lacking on Saturday night.
On another day, against a team with a playmaker and goal-kicker enduring less of a nightmare afternoon than poor Duncan Hodge, a rusty-looking England might just have been left to regret their lack of fluency after a promising first quarter.
Instead, as Jonny Wilkinson put it, the tournament favourites were allowed "to win with a sub-par performance" which made a mockery of Scotland's starry-eyed pre-game aspirations.
England do not lose at Twickenham very often, either, which, for the tournament's sake, puts a heavy onus on Ireland to respond positively to what is likely to be a revved-up English attacking effort on Saturday week.
"We know we can improve. That's the beauty of it," Clive Woodward said. "I think we'll be a lot better in two weeks."
Unlike the famous corresponding fixture two years ago, Scotland proved unable to disrupt their opponents' composure to any great degree and, on a boggy pitch, the result was a stop-start exhibition of why England, once in control, are so hard to beat.
"In the second half we hardly had the ball. It was a bit like a defence session," Martin Johnson said. Memorable sporting theatre it was not.
No wonder Will Greenwood, named man of the match for his creative midfield promptings, put a consoling arm around the shoulders of the hapless Hodge at the final whistle. For all the good work and discipline of the Scottish forwards, who conceded three penalties all day, they achieved depressingly little with a significant amount of possession.
If Greenwood's lovely flick pass after Kyran Bracken's tap penalty was the catalyst for Jason Robinson's first try in the ninth minute, Metcalfe was badly outpaced by the Sale man after Greenwood and Mike Tindall had opened up the midfield defence for a second time five minutes later.
Had Wilkinson's foot not slipped as he attempted a cross-kick towards Tindall, England might have had a third try in the first quarter, but all hope of a Scottish revival vanished amid a flurry of penalty misses from Hodge, who kicked just one from five attempts.
Tindall did score the third try, in the 50th minute, when Metcalfe fumbled the Bath centre's hopeful chip.
Gregor Townsend also did his best to divert the blame away from Hodge's bad day - "We've all had them. He is very down but it's not his fault" - and his coach, Ian McGeechan, lamented England's ability to slow the game down to suit their purposes.
The sight of Ben Cohen blasting through Metcalfe in the sixth minute of injury time for a try converted from the touchline by Charlie Hodgson simply added to the impression of an England side with plenty more in the locker, including Wilkinson, who was stretchered off late on but had simply tweaked a nerve in his knee and will be fit to face the Irish.
It is early to start talking about grand slams, with a trip to Paris still to come, but something about the body language of the players suggests that there is more determination than ever not to stumble again. "Played one, won one, that's all it is," Greenwood said.
Yes, but a major hurdle has been cleared with ludicrous ease.
SCOTLAND: Metcalfe (Glasgow); Laney (Edinburgh), McLaren (Glasgow), Townsend (Castres), Paterson (Edinburgh); Hodge (Edinburgh), Redpath (Sale); Smith (Northampton; Graham (Newcastle 63), Bulloch (Glasgow), Stewart (Northampton), Murray (Saracens), Grimes (Newcastle), White (Glasgow), Pountney (Northampton, capt), Taylor (Edinburgh).
ENGLAND: Robinson (Sale); Healey (Leicester), Tindall (Bath; Balshaw (Bath 73), Greenwood (Harlequins), Cohen (Northampton); Wilkinson (Newcastle; Hodgson (Sale 80), Bracken (Saracens; Duncombe (Harlequins h-t); Rowntree (Leicester), Thompson (Northampton), White (Bristol; Leonard (Harlequins 76), Johnson (Leicester, capt), Kay (Leicester; Grewcock (Bath 70), Hill (Saracens), Back (Leicester), Worsley (Wasps).
Referee: S Walsh (New Zealand).
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