Psst, there's this caddy who's boss is away and he just might be available ...

CADDIE'S ROLE: You have to be well organised these days to pick up a spare bag. The chances are if your regular man is resting then so are you.

There is, however, an off chance of a reserve, usually last-minute entrants or players who can't afford a regular cad. This carries its own problems, if you do happen to pick up a straggler. They usually can't afford to pay you the average wage, all the more incentive to up the percentage earnings.

Don't knock the stragglers, by the way, the British Open champion was considered an also-ran until he went and won. His wage structure has probably altered slightly in the last few weeks.

My own player is having some time off, so I find myself in the difficult position of looking "for a bag" without warning. I am very much out of practice.

Networking comes in handy if you are on the lookout. Player manager numbers are useful; caddie chat is a good source of recent or, more likely, imminent jockey changes. You do have to siphon the information: if you are so much as thinking of jumping bags around the savvy rumour mongers they have a habit of sensing it. Don't even think of it, let alone whisper your intentions around the astute spare bag men.

With advance warning these off weeks can be sorted out. Spread the word for a certain tournament down the line where you are free and usually there are some takers. The problem here is as soon as you make a date your regular man, given the capricious nature of the professional golfer, may change his mind and decide to play in the event in which you have arranged to work for another player.

Players' schedules change depending on their status. The higher ranked can generally plan their year well in advance, choosing a schedule that suits them: don't have too many big events in a row, select the courses you play well on, basic sound judgment. The lesser ranked have to play in what they can get into, and be happy to do so. No such cherry-picking for them.

The danger here is burn-out. You can end up clocking in every week but not really applying yourself due to being over-golfed. Age and enthusiasm are deciding factors. For the indecisive golfer, having a choice is too difficult: he would be better off being told to play in certain events and saved the agony of choosing.

Many golfers will defy logic or common sense when it comes to scheduling. I have known players to leave out the courses they played well on the previous year from their current schedule. There is a relevant saying on tour: "horses for courses".

Have a look at the consistent performances of certain players around certain courses. It makes sense for them to continue playing these events. In fact, they could be forgiven for omitting nearly every other event they have struggled with over the years.

It seems to take pros an awful long time to figure this out. Or have the courage of their convictions. Others are stuck in a web of self-delusion, wanting to feel they have a chance around a course they have never mastered.

Then there is a chance the player who goes to a course where he normally doesn't play well, doesn't have any expectation, gets the putter working and ends up doing well. Decision making is an art not a science.

Like statistics, the facts in golf can lead to whatever interpretation a person wants to serve their agenda. Again, the freedom of choice for many is a burden.

This is not to say the caddie does not have a certain amount of freedom of choice when it comes to his scheduling. You have the option to freelance all year long and choose where to go and when. Again, this is becoming increasingly difficult to do, but some manage.

There are some older caddies in the US that won't go to Denver, because with the altitude and undulation of the course they are afraid of collapsing. Other events that are traditionally played in intense heat are also on their miss list.

Of course, the chances are if you take a week off your regular man is going to play well. The litany of sob week-off stories in the caddie shack is there to prove it.

If you are verbally contracted to a player, like most caddies are, then the etiquette is you go where he goes. Such is the case with my player.

The only trouble is he is going through a bit of a bad health patch and isn't going anywhere at the moment.

This week my alternative is the inaugural €400,000 Russian Open instead of the planned $5 million US PGA. The Russian Open is a very attractive location from a travel perspective but the financial benefits don't look too promising. The fact I have just read Tom Humphries's unappealing account of a visit to the Russian embassy in search of a visa is another limiting factor. A little bit of warning and I would have been the first in line for that trip. The following week is blank in Europe, with the elite competing in the World Series in Akron. Not too many loose bags in that line up.

So with the weather forecast to average in the mid-30s this week in my part-time German domicile it looks like I'm on an enforced vacation to the local natural spring swimming pool.

The trouble is there are three to choose from equidistant from where I am staying. I'll need to phone a pro and ask him for advice on which one to go to!