Planet World Cup

World Cup Speak"It is racism with a small 'r', the condescending colonial attitude that has been imported to this region from the west for too long."- The Korean Times responds to "Conspiracy!" allegations.

"We had a golden opportunity, but we're on our way home without facing a decent side on our tour of the footballing Third World."

- Spanish newspaper AS in a tribute to the Republic of Ireland, and the rest of Spain's World Cup opponents.

"Spain didn't make the most of an easy run."

- Another Spanish newspaper, El Mundo Deportivo. See above.

"I don't know whether Italy deserved to go through or not, I didn't watch . I know they are disappointed and I am sad for them, but I was sad too when Trapattoni left me out of the 23. So I went hunting in Argentina to get away from things. I take my holidays seriously."

- Roberto "not bitter" Baggio.

"It's almost like we have to apologise while we keep advancing."

- Germany's Michael Ballack, on the eve of the semi-finals.

All-stars go missing

Who are we to question the expertise of FIFA's 10-man technical study group that picked the 33 players in contention for a place in the World Cup All-star XI, to be unveiled by Pele in Yokohama on Friday? (The group, incidentally, includes the coaches of Canada and Australia and the coach of Sturm Graz). All the same: no Damien Duff? And Sol Campbell is in there, but Rio Ferdinand isn't? And, included in the All-Star midfield contenders is David Beckham, he who made as big a contribution to the World Cup finals as his club-mate Ruud van Nistelrooy? Hmm.

Aggression therapy

Non-World Cup football life goes on. A seminar aimed at tackling violence in Macedonia's soccer stadia went well for its first three days, with supporters from all over the country partaking in a mature debate about the need to stamp out hostility on the terraces. On the final day? Tempers frayed and it all ended in, well, violence, with punches and gunshots exchanged between rival football fans. Arrests? Thirty. Faces? Scarlet.

Stig's sad story

We were saddened to hear of Danish midfielder Stig Tofting's woes after he was charged with assault for head-butting a cafe manager and hitting another man at a Danish Football Federation do arranged to celebrate Denmark's achievements at the World Cup. (Mind you, when we heard the injured party had passed ugly comments about the deaths of Tofting's parents [his father murdered his mother and then committed suicide] our sympathies passed to the player).

Still, though, what appalled us most about this sad tale was the name of the establishment hosting the do: Cafe Ketchup.

More World Cup Speak

"When the dream of playing in the World Cup final is destroyed, it is the most bitter pill for a footballer to swallow."

- Michael Ballack after getting his team, but not himself, in to the final.

"I was planning to go on holiday in Portugal, Italy or Spain after the World Cup but, after everything that has been said, I think I will have to change my plans now."

- South Korean coach Guus Hiddink.

"England were the worst. It is impossible for them to have left the tournament with their heads held high. They have ignored their footballing culture. It is terrible to see England play football like that. Their frontman Emile Heskey was their best defender."

- Hiddink again.

"I cut it myself."

- Ronaldo (right) tells us what we already suspected - have you seen his new hair-do?

See you in court

Latest wacky World Cup-related law suit: Croatian businessman Krunoslav Bobic is suing his national Football Association for several million pounds after the team's first round exit. Bobic claims that he and the other 3,500 who live on the holiday island of Pasman have suffered "material and spiritual damage" as a result of the team's "under-achievement" at the World Cup and is demanding compensation to get his life back on track.

"I'm a businessman and I know the importance of keeping promises. If a factory fails to deliver on an order or a company fails to keep a promise, you can take action against them, so why should the Croatian Football League be any different? They promised us the world and we ended up with nothing," he said. We wish him well.

Sympathy for Seaman

Rod Stewart - who never quite made it to Dublin last week - was hale and hearty, by all accounts, when he turned up for crooning duty in Glasgow. While flapping his arms in the air he told the audience that "This one's for Seaman", before treating them to a moving rendition of I Don't Wanna Talk About It.

Banquet blues

Some embarrassment for Nigerian president Olusegun Obasanjo who held a banquet on Monday in honour of the country's World Cup squad. And how many of the squad turned up? None. Officials insisted that club commitments (at this time of year?) meant the players were unable to attend, but word had it that they chose to boycott the feast because the government had not paid bonuses to team members.