Planet soccer

By MARY HANNIGAN

Shearer streets ahead in Oman

We spotted this photograph of a sign in Muscat, the capital of Oman, on The Spoiler website last week, under the heading "Geordie legend gets his own street in the Middle East".

We’ll admit, we were stumped for a bit, until we read the name out loud.

As The Spoiler put it, “nothing tells a sportsman that he’s really made it quite like having a road named after him – time for a proud, silent weep, Shearer.”

Redknapp spoils the party

Christians might have been a bit taken aback by Harry Redknapp’s announcement last week that he had banned his Spurs’ players from having a Christmas party because “they’ve got nothing to celebrate”.

It’s probably as well, then, that Harry didn’t get the job former Aston Villa manager John Gregory has been appointed to: Maccabi Ahl Nazareth. Maybe he’s saving himself for the Bethlehem post?

Naked truth

Peruvian Carlos “Kukin” Flores had to own up to a transgression or two after an incident that saw him apprehended by police after he ran naked down a street.

The Observer reported the player eventually confessed to his wife he had been “engaging with dirty ladies”, before being mugged. He wasn’t truthful at first, telling her he was running because he was being chased by a ghost.

“I didnt want her to be suspicious about ladies so I just told her it was a ghost. She failed to believe me.

Deadly Doyley finally strikes

“It’s true what they say – the longer you wait, the sweeter it feels,” said Watford’s Lloyd Doyley after he scored in last Monday’s 3-1 win over QPR. The goal was his first in 269 senior appearances, spanning nine seasons.

“I always knew I would score one day, but it took a bit longer than I thought,” he said.

Watford fans can now buy a T-shirt with the inscription “We were there when Doyley scored”.

We also like the chant: “Who needs Robinho? We’ve got Lloydinho.”

Sadly, the goal brought pain for Doyley's pal Andy Collins. The Daily Mirrorreported when Doyley scored Collins, sitting at home watching the match, "leapt so high out of his armchair he cracked his head on an oak beam and needed hospital treatment for an eight-inch gash".

Quotes of the Week 

“I’ve a mate who for the past three years has taken his pals to the USA for a golf tournament against American pals. They have had a great time – the golf was great and the lads got on well. They took the wives this year and it was a disaster. All the wives had an argument and I think it’s been cancelled for next year.”

– Harry Redknapp on why England shouldn’t bring any women with them to South Africa next summer.

“It’s brilliant. Fancy waking up on Christmas Day to see a goat tied up in the garden, a present from your next door neighbour?” – Michael Essien on his ideal present. He wasn’t kiddin’ either.

“I thought it was the day on which Azumah Nelson (Ghanaian boxing legend) always fought. I was surprised to find Azumah fighting in June once – until it was explained to me.” – Essien again, this time on what he thought “Boxing Day” was all about.

“We saw a crazy, curious match.” – Hannover 96 coach Andreas Bergmann after his side scored three – count ’em – own goals in a 5-3 defeat to Borussia “give us a B” Moenchengladbach. Curious isn’t the word.

“I’m going to bury him! Only joking, I’ll just move on.” – Paul McShane half-promising to let bygones be bygones when he comes up against William Gallas next Saturday.

“It would be like an ant attacking a bear. Have you seen him? It would be like suicide!” – Hamilton striker Leon Knight denying he punched Hearts’ Suso Santana, largely because he’s about four inches wider and taller than him.

“That result was a bit Disneyworld.” – Mick McCarthy on Wolverhampton’s win on Saturday, when they took the Mickey Mouse out of Spurs.

“Arsene Wenger needs to buy new players – and expensive ones too. Why? Because all the talented and inexpensive players are already at Arsenal.” – Andrey Arshavin urges the club to stop buying in the One Pound Shop.

“Both have fantastic records as managers.” – Rafa Benitez responds to criticism from Jurgen Klinsmann and Graeme Souness. A saucer of milk please, waiter?

“It can be difficult to pinpoint who would make it as a manager. For instance, nobody here thought Mark Hughes would become a manager, never in a million years.” – Alex Ferguson. Another saucer please, waiter?