Morgan's season of discontent

EVEN as he left Goffs 12 months ago with a £70,000 cheque, he knew that there were tough times ahead. First, though, there would be the delight of returning to his native Wales having finally proven to friends, family and himself what he always believed ... in the sport at the centre of his life, Darren Morgan could be a winner.

The timing of his first major tournament victory since turning professional eight years earlier could not have been better for the 29-year-old from Cwmfelinfech in Gwent. At home, Morgan's mother, Cynthia, was in the latter stages of a seven-year battle with breast cancer. This one, he told journalists in a faltering voice after edging Steve Davis out 9-8, was for his mum.

The tremendous strength which Cynthia displayed in the fight against cancer brought its rewards. Seven months before seeing her son make his mark professionally, she had held her granddaughter for the first time.

Darren's long-time girlfriend, Tracey, had given birth to their first child, Paige Louise, in August, and the three had settled in a farmhouse where the future seemed brighter than it had at any time in the previous nine years.

In 1987, Morgan, fresh out of his teens, had made his first major mark in snooker by winning the Welsh and World Amateur titles. It was clear to those who saw him then that Morgan didn't have the flair of some of the sport's bigger names. Quiet-spoken and unassuming, Morgan lacked the charisma to become one of the sport's best-known stars, but in terms of application the young Welshman came second to nobody.

Morgan's world title gave him the right to play as a professional, and over the next nine seasons he rose through the rankings. There wasn't too much to shout about along the way - he won only a Welsh championship and some lesser invitation events - but hard work on the practice table brought consistency. Morgan became walking proof of just how much that could count for.

In the three seasons before last, Morgan got past the first round in every ranking tournament he played. And if there were slip ups at the International and Thailand Opens in 1995-96 which contributed to his ranking slipping back a place to nine, they were balanced by quarter-final appearances in four major events.

Then, at the start of this season, Morgan was beaten 5-4 in the first round of the Asian Classic by Stefan Mazrocis. He recovered slightly with two wins at the Grand Prix before he was cleaned out by John Parrott in the third bound.

The following month his mother finally died which, he admits, brought relief as well as grief. "She'd been in that much pain for that long we were all glad in a way that it was over for her. But it took me a long time to realise how much I was really devastated by the whole thing," he says.

"I've always practised a lot, but for two months afterwards I couldn't hit a ball, so I was just going to tournaments and losing. Then I went off my head a bit. At one stage, I chopped up my cue, for no reason. I hacked an inch and a half off it - which didn't help things much."

Morgan need not have packed an overnight bag for the UK or German championships, for his involvement in both was painfully brief. But worse was to follow at the first event in 1997, the Liverpool Victoria Charity Challenge, an event in which the world's leading players play for nominated causes.

"It was terrible, I was playing for Breakthrough Breast Cancer and I sold them down the river. I lost in the first round to Alan McManus and I was devastated.

"The only good thing to come out of it, I suppose, was that I promised I would do something for them over the next few months, and so the next day I started practising again."

The improved workrate has yet to yield any dividends, with just one match won in four ranking events since. At this stage the 30-year-old, clearly deeply dispirited, simply wishes that the season were over.

"Don't get me wrong, I love coming over to Ireland, it's a lovely place and they really look after you. But I just want to forget about this year and start again after the summer. Everything about this season has been bad.

"For most of it, the people I was playing against gave me every chance to beat them, but I was too awful to do it. And for the last couple of months, when I've finally been playing a bit better, everyone else has been good enough to beat me.

"I wouldn't mind so much, but, without wanting to sound big-headed, a couple of them were the sort of players you'd fancy giving a bit of a start to if you were playing well. To be honest, at this stage, I just want to get to the end of the season so I can spend a bit of time with my family, play a bit of golf and get myself, ready to start rebuilding next year.

The first thing in need of some reconstructive work, he admits, is his crumbling confidence, although any progress there seems some way off. A popular figure in his local area, where the people are "snooker mad" because of his success, Morgan no longer socialises much with his friends.

"I used to go up for a drink on a Friday night to a sort of old men's club, but I've given that up now. I was getting a bit of a ribbing, but that's to be expected. That wasn't the problem, though. It was people coming up and genuinely looking to find out what was going wrong. I didn't need all that."

The player's sense that he has let those round him down is particularly acute when he talks about his father. "He lost his wife - his partner for the rest of his life - and then I go and kick him in the teeth by playing so poorly. My mother was so proud of my snooker, and now he's getting it from all of his friends about me doing so badly. I really want to turn things around for him, but so far it's just gone from bad to worse.

Those sort of feelings will obviously take Morgan some time to work out for himself. And while a successful defence of his Masters title would be a considerable start, in his current state of mind it may well be beyond him.

Still, he says: "I'm a proud Welshman, I'll give it everything I've got."

Yet one suspects, no less than in Liverpool, it won't be Darren Morgan that he's playing for out there when he takes on either John Parrott or Stephen Murphy on Friday night.