Lame leaders consigned to water-carriers' role

ALL IN THE SCRUM: A rugby miscellany

The best paid water boys in the history of sport?

The H2O bibs and ear pieces were taken over by Paul O'Connell and Brian O'Driscoll as the lame leaders attempted to influence matters at Wembley and Thomond Park by their mere presence and a few cleverly-chosen words of encouragement while transferring messages from the stand.

"Very disappointing to miss Wembley. At least I'll get to jog around the hallowed turf, as a waterboy!" tweeted Brian O'Driscoll before Saturday's match.

Post game he added: "Wasn't bad was it – eeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!"

And for those who were scratching their heads the Irish captain explained: "No one picked up on my Gazza 1991 semi-final v's Arsenal post-match wembley comment!!!"

Certainly better than his "fruit salad" line. Paul Gascoigne famously guided Spurs into the FA Cup final with a wonder strike from a free kick to kill off the Gunners.

THEY SAID IT

“I feel 30 again.”

– 33-year-old Shane Williams after crossing for a cracking individual try as the Ospreys beat London Irish last Friday evening. The pace is certainly still there.

“And the question, when you look at it again, is should it not have been three yellow cards and 16 penalties to two?”

– Venter responds to the suggestion that the referee was harsh on Leinster in the second half by awarding an 8-2 penalty count and one sin bin.

“As soon as I turned my phone on about 20 messages popped up. The first one was from the old lady and she was pretty happy.”

– Sonny Bill Williams’ Mammy informs her son of his All Black call up.

Tialata keeps us posted on Big Foot's progress

Neemia Tialata was like a breaking news service over the weekend as the All Black prop went to the emergency room to check on the fractured ankle his mate Piri Weepu sustained in Wellington’s defeat of Taranaki.

“#BigFoot is doing well:) just with my boi, he’s doing well jst trynna keep him happy.. He’s in good spirit.”

Neither Weepu or Tialata will be touring these parts next month, but Graham Henry has included uncapped 25-year-old centre Sonny Bill Williams.

Sonny Bill has already attained superstar status in New Zealand and Australia after a brief rugby league career before switching codes to follow Tana Umaga to Toulon in 2008 and learn his trade in union. A huge physical specimen gifted with natural talent, watch out for Williams when New Zealand visit Dublin on November 20th.

NEW ZEALAND SQUAD: Forwards: J Afoa, A Boric, D Braid, T Donnelly, H Elliot, B Franks, O Franks, A Hore, J Kaino, R McCaw (capt), K Mealamu, L Messam, K Read, B Thorn, S Whitelock, T Woodcock.

Backs: A Ellis, D Carter, J Cowan, S Donald, H Gear, C Jane, A Mathewson, M Muliaina, M Nonu, J Rokocoko, S Sivivatu, C Smith, I Toeava, SB Williams.

Bees claim centre stage in front of Bulls and Sharks

KILLER bees descended upon Durban’s ABSA stadium on Saturday, forcing referee Marius Jonker to delay the Currie Cup semi-final between the Blue Bulls and the Natal Sharks for 40 minutes as officials attempted to remove the pests from the pitch.

Okay, they were not killer bees, just bees but Jonker is allergic to them and a few players might have been as well.

“Bulls running off the field, scared of the bees!!!” tweeted injured Springbok and Sharks captain John Smit from the upper deck. “Ok now Sharks are off too! Bizarre!!!”

When leaf blowers and fire extinguishers failed to disperse the bees from the plastic posts on the halfway line a few brave, souls covered the bees and posts in a bag before carrying them out of the stadium.

The Sharks beat the defending champions 16-12 and will now face Schalk Burger’s Western Province in the final.

More bad news for the Boks management followed over the weekend as Jacque Fourie joined Smit, Gurthro Steenkamp, Fourie du Preez, Andries Bekker and Heinrich Brussow on the injured list ahead of their European tour which starts in Dublin on November 6th.

“We were definitely the better team by far. We kept the ball, got in behind them and just didn’t get any rewards. Maybe what the IRB is doing is a waste of time. Maybe we should go back to kicking everything. The IRB are looking to make rugby a spectacle. It is going to be boring. They are not going to get 45,000 people at Wembley (again). Rugby is going to die. 100 per cent. Rugby is going to die if we allow this to happen. This is our last chance and I have said it a lot of times now.”

– Saracens coach Brendan Venter predicts the coming of rugby’s apocalypse if rules are not streamlined by referees.