Everton 7 Sunderland 1:A surreal nightmare unfolded in front of Roy Keane at Goodison Park and it was not the sight of a 6ft foam scrotum playing "Crossbar Challenge". Mr Testicles was in town to promote the Male Cancer Awareness Campaign and it took all Keane's acquired self-control not to grab the 28 belonging to those involved in the heaviest defeat of his professional career on Saturday. A thorough examination of Sunderland and their manager has nevertheless begun.
Not one Sunderland player dared meet their manager's glare as Keane stood at the head of the tunnel and searched for a reaction after this brutal slaying by Everton. In the dressing room afterwards the inquest went on so long that a Merseyside Police officer knocked on the door to announce the escort for their team coach would only be available for another 15 minutes.
Keane then emerged with an elegance and composure unbecoming of one on the wrong end of an embarrassment, his anger rising only briefly when asked had he ever suffered a seven-goal defeat before. "I'm surprised you asked me that question," he said under his breath.
The Sunderland manager insisted on collective responsibility for an abject defensive performance in which Paul McShane, a £2.5 million Republic of Ireland international schooled at Old Trafford, resembled Wayne Bridge at Wembley and the club sank into the relegation zone after their eighth consecutive game without a win.
It will require more than Keane's aura to lift Sunderland out of there, although raising spirits ahead of Saturday's visit of Derby is the immediate task.
"I take full responsibility and I am comfortable with that," said Keane, who was fortunate to escape with only a 7-1 defeat, such was Everton's control, penetration and style in David Moyes' 100th victory at the helm.
"This hurts, it hurts like hell but I had setbacks in my playing days, let me tell you. I lost major games, I had bad injuries. This is certainly one of them but it is not about my feelings or my setbacks. It is about Sunderland Football Club and Sunderland Football Club is a hell of a lot bigger than Roy Keane.
"I hope it is the first and last time, but I am more concerned about the team, the supporters and the whole club. Credit to Everton, they took full advantage of our shortcomings I suppose. It is not right just to be critical of the back four, it is all about the team. Even at 5-1 we were still throwing men forward, maybe that was a little naive, that wasn't down to the back four. You have to take your medicine as a whole team, not just the back line.
"We have got decent lads in our dressing room, nobody even thinks about rolling over, it was a very harsh scoreline and we did concede seven but we did have some periods when we did well. The concern was that every time Everton came forward they looked like scoring. That is not a great ingredient to have."
Everton were simply a class apart in all departments, the movement and touch of Mikel Arteta, Steven Pienaar, Leon Osman and Tim Cahill, allied to the in-tune power and effort of Yakubu producing what Moyes hailed as "the best performance since I've been here".
The team-play that produced Everton's second from Cahill and the third from Pienaar plus Osman's solo run for the seventh made Goodison purr and were of the highest calibre. Three other goals arrived via route one and illustrated the abysmal Sunderland defending. McShane twice missed long clearances, allowing Yakubu to open the scoring with a deflection off Danny Higginbotham and Cahill to slide in a fourth at a time when Sunderland were threatening a contest.
A third missed clearance, with Higginbotham the culprit, enabled Andrew Johnson to clip a delicate sixth goal over Craig Gordon and claim his first goal since undergoing surgery on an ankle problem. Yakubu helped himself to the fifth following pinball in the visitors' penalty area.
"I think the scoreline sent out a statement of what we are about," said Phil Neville.
The former Everton striker Dave Hickson was in intensive care at the Royal Liverpool hospital last night after the 78-year-old, who starred for the club in the 1950s, suffered a heart attack at Goodison before the game.
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