Friendly fare just fine as Kelly accentuates the positive

TV VIEW:IT WAS only yesterday that Alex Ferguson was describing friendlies as "worthless" exercises and "a waste of time", while he was in America announcing summer friendlies against Barcelona, New England Revolution, Seattle Sounders, Chicago Fire and the MLS All-Stars.

Granted, his Stateside mission is all about promoting the brand, picking up a dollar or three and getting his lads fit after a couple of months of hiding from the paparazzi under their Dubai poolside umbrellas.

But what was Giovanni Trapattoni’s mission last night?

Well, trying out a few of his young bucks against last summer’s World Cup semi-finalists is hardly, you have to say, a valueless escapade, but less than cost-effective, if the green spaces in the stands were anything to go by.

Alas, those blank spaces were painfully visible when Sky’s Julian Warren, sitting in the Lansdowne Gods, welcomed us to Dublin, making his ‘whip ’em into a tingling frenzy of anticipation’ mission for the evening a bit tricky. If most of us were sitting at home watching Julian watching Ireland on the telly it suggested the tingles just weren’t tingly enough.

Julian’s companion for the evening, though, was all a-tingle – none other than Gary Kelly, the ‘Three Amigos’ fella, not Alan’s Da.

We should admit here that we’ve had a bit of a grá for Gary ever since the time he talked about his homesickness when he first joined Leeds. Remember? He said he’d stand in his back garden in Yorkshire staring at the moon because he knew it was the same moon they were looking at in Drogheda. Frankly, not even a truckload of Kleenex would have absorbed the ensuing flood.

Anyway, Gary, now an ancient 36, was a bit gobsmacked to learn that the Irish starting line-up had just 103 caps between them.

“Less than Robbie has on his own,” Julian told him, and about 603 fewer than Kevin Kilbane.

Liam Lawrence and Andy Keogh were our wingers for the evening, or “swingers” as Trapattoni so magnificently described this particular footballing position on Monday. The same day he also named a team that contained only 10 men. Now, that’s confidence for you.

As it proved in the first half, though, he really shouldn’t have taken the visitors so lightly, they were a bit useful, as World Cup semi-finalists tend to be. (Although, quite why Uruguay chose to play Macedonia’s goalkeeper on the night we’ll never know – is that not against Fifa rules?)

By half-time, with Ireland 3-1 down, Rob Hawthorne and Ray Houghton sounded a bit deflated, but, back in the Gods, Gary seemed over the moon-ish.

“The first 15 minutes there was really exciting,” he told Julian, before sharing what he’d say to the lads in the dressingroom.

“Just cut out little errors, there’s not too much wrong at the moment . . . the difference is obviously the scoreline.”

Well, obviously, but the young bucks must have taken heart from Gary’s upbeat half-time chat because we were hardly back in our telly seats when Martin Caceres managed to upend both Keogh and James McCarthy with one fell swoop. Penalty. Keith Fahey. Just the goal in it.

The equaliser wasn’t to be, but it was lively auld stuff.

“Tonight I think we saw proof that international friendlies can be a very useful experience,” said Julian, “so stick yer MLS All-Stars up your rear,” he didn’t, it should be said, add.

“The second time in four days there’s been plenty for the Ireland fans to applaud here in Dublin . . . this time it was just the result that was missing,” he said.

Missing results can often be a hindrance in football, of the club or international kind, but Julian had a point – to score two, and almost eight, against the World Cup semi-finalists is no bad thing at all, especially when your team is made up of babies.

“And it was all Ireland in the second half,” Gary moonbeamed. “And Shane Long has given the manager a headache, what with Robbie’s little knocks and bangs.”

A quick word with Giovanni. Sky’s Andy Burton, back in full swing after his suspension following the Sian Massey affair, wasn’t at all pleased that the Italian started off in Italian.

“Try in English for me, try in English for me,” he pleaded. So Giovanni did, although we were half hoping he’d say: “If you try English Andy, I will too.”

He’s not that rude, though.

A less than worthless exercise, as it proved. Gary was happy,

if not quite dancing in the moonlight. But at least he didn’t have to waste his time watching the bloody MLS All-Stars.