Foul deeds follow fowl behaviour

DURING the second World War, Congressional CC was saved from financial ruin by a deal with the American Office of Strategic Services (055). For a payment of $4,000 per month, the facility was used to train spies and saboteurs. And there are those who would suggest that the atmosphere in the club is still heavy with unspoken intrigue.

For instance, Watergate Judge John J Sirica was knocked unconscious by a ball which ricocheted off the bagroom during a memorable semiopen competition. After that, things were fairly quiet at this prestigious club, where the wildlife includes deer, fox, skunk, raccoon, opossum, frog, snake (poisonous), geese, duck and native birds. Until the goose was killed in 1979.

There was no mention of a golden egg when Sherman A Thomas, a local doctor, described it as a mercy killing after the goose had been mortally wounded by his approach shot to the 17th. Witnesses, however, offered conflicting accounts, some claiming that Thomas killed the bird in a fit of rage because it had interfered with his game.

In the event, John Dean's attorney, Charles N Shaffer, was retained to represent Thomas and the Washington Post carried a suitably sober report of the incident under the headline "Honk If You Think He's Guilty". It read: "There are those who say it was a mercy killing, that the doctor accidentally hit the goose with his approach shot, saw it was dying and ended its suffering with his putter.

"Other witnesses say the goose honked while the doctor was putting, causing him to miss the shot and that the physician, enraged, turned on the goose and clubbed it to death. Under the Migratory Bird Treaty Act, the Secretary of the Interior has prescribed methods by which such birds can be killed, said one legal expert. A golf club is not one of them."

The case was about to be settled by a jury in Baltimore, but on the eve of the trial, the young prosecutor had a brainwave. He persuaded Thomas to plead guilty to the minimum - and highly imaginative - charge of "hunting out of season".

The fine was $500, and after handing the cheque to a bemused court clerk, the doctor issued the cryptic statement: "This is the end of history. Do you want to handle history?" In an epilogue, the Washington Post reported: "The body has never been recovered, although some sources say it left the course in Thomas' golf bag."

Kurt Schmoke, the young prosecutor, is now the mayor of Baltimore while Thomas remains a member of Congressional, though he has moved to Florida. When asked recently to comment on the affair, the doctor snapped: "I'm not going to talk about it. That's it." And who could blame him.

AMERICANS, including their President, love the get up and go attitude for which the country is famous. Which is what Julieta Stack, the professional at a local municipal course, displayed recently while dining out in Washington.

Glancing up from her table at The Bombay Club Indian restaurant, she noticed Bill Clinton ordering a meal. She sent over her card to his table. "Mr President," she had scribbled on the back, "I've seen that golf swing of yours on television and I think I can help." Three weeks later, he gave her a call.

FEARING supplies may run low, there's been quite a rush by spectators here to buy US Open merchandise from the various stands. But they shouldn't worry. "We are projecting a record $12 million in sales," says Robert Morris, head of the Pinnacle Enterprises, the company handling all merchandising for this year's event.

It represents only part of a veritable windfall for the US Golf Association from their top promotion. Last year, for instance, the US Open at Oakland Hills had a turnover of $35 million and generated profits of about $22 million. That's about $5 million more than in 1995 and double the 1994 figure.

Most of last year's cash will come from television, courtesy of a three year deal signed with free spending NBC Sports in 1994. For coverage of all of the USGA's events, NBC pays about $13 million per year. Additional rights fees from overseas stations account for $9 million.

Then there are the ticket sales. At $25 for practice days and $50 per competitive round, this year's take will come to $7 million, while corporate hospitality contributes $4 million. Incidentally, the merchandising tent here at Congressional cost $900,000 to build - and is considered splendid value for money.

A familiar face is missing from the US Open media centre this week, due to the death of Michael Williams golf correspondent of the Daily Telegraph. Two days after returning from the Masters, Michael was playing golf with his son Roddy at Chelmsford GC, where he collapsed and died on the fourth hole.

His wife Judy, who happens to be the current lady captain of the club, recounted to friends how difficult it has been for her to play the course, especially the short fourth. But she has gained an extraordinary reward for her stoicism.

Standing on the fourth tee in a recent club match, she somehow found herself playing a six iron, where she would normally take a seven. And she had the first hole in one of her career.

WHEN drives were measured at two hole during the 1964 US Open at Congressional, they averaged 252 yards - about 10 yards less than may be anticipated this week. This represents an improvement of about four per cent in driving distance over 33 years.

Frank Hannigan, a former executive director 4 read: the USGA, offered an analysis of the improvement. "I ascribe six of the yards to livelier golf balls, four yards to improvements in the species and zero to club improvements," he said.

Interestingly, when Ken Venturi was heading for victory in 1964, he declined to use wooden tees on the driver holes because of concern over hooking the ball. Instead, he kicked up tufts of grass and perched the ball on top. The result was that he kept the ball in play, but sacrificed distance with drives averaging 247 yards - about the same as Corey Pavin nowadays.

ACCORDING to a report in the current issue of Golf week, Tiger Woods is alleged to have given his private telephone number to the Duchess of York. And the magazine claims: "... her dialling finger is flying fast and furious".

It goes on: "It's no secret Fergie admires the golf whiz and his mother, Kultida, whom she considers very wise. But because Fergie's phone calls have become so frequent, orders were dispatched to forward messages rather than put calls directly through..."

THEY'RE still talking over here about the splendid shindig at the Greenbrier to celebrate Sam Snead's 85th birthday on May 27th. To mark the occasion, Snead shot a 78 in the company of his old friend Johnny Bulla. "It was a helluva party never thought I'd see anything like it," he said.

Meanwhile, Snead's zest for life is reflected in the fact that he lifts weights every day to strengthen an ailing left shoulder, and he's experimenting with new glasses.

With an immodesty permitted at his age, the legendary Virginian claimed he was the greatest golfer ever. "Jack Nicklaus was second," he said. "Then Ben Hogan and Arnold Palmer fought for third place." And what of Tiger Woods? "He's like me," replied Snead. "I wanted to win. I wanted to kill em all."

"ACTUALLY, the neighbourhood around Congressional is so plush, I might get out of the bus and try to get a job as a gardener." Tony Kornheiser of the Washington Post, on commuting to the US Open.

TEASER: A player marked the position of his ball with a coin, lifted the ball and pressed down the coin with the sole of his putter. He walked to the edge of the green and then noticed that the coin had stuck to the sole of the putter. What is the ruling?

ANSWER: The last paragraph of Rule 20-1 states: "If a ball or a ball marker is accidentally moved in the process of lifting the ball under a rule, or marking its position, no penalty is incurred and the ball or the ball marker shall be replaced." Accordingly, no penalty is incurred and the ball or the ball marker must be replaced. If the spot where the ball or the ball marker lay is not known, it must be placed as near as possible to where it lay, but not nearer the hole (Rule 20-3c).