Fans scoop the best pictures

PLANET SOCCER:SPARE A thought for two photographers on duty at Upton Park for the League Cup game between West Ham and Millwall last Tuesday night.

According to the Daily Mirrorthe pair had set up equipment behind one of the goals which would automatically take shots of any goalmouth action while they sat 60 yards away. So, when the pitch invasions began they feared the worst. And, yes, when the game was over they discovered that their gear, worth €17,000, was gone.

With any luck the culprits will be identified in television footage – unless they stole those cameras too.

In passing, you might have noticed that West Ham and Millwall don't like each other very much. "Stand up if you hate Millwall", sang the West Ham fans during Tuesday's "battle" at Upton Park. And who stood up? West Ham's Italian technical director Gianluca Nani in the directors' box, reported the Daily Mail. Gianluca? Sit down.

Quotes of the week

“I’m not thinking about it at all. It’s just my position and it feels like the best decision I ever made.”

– Stephen Ireland on the chances of him returning to international football. Is that a “no” then?

“For years players have cheated because the referees were not of a good enough quality.”

– We assumed Uefa president Michel Platini was being humourous, but apparently not.

“That nearly happened to me at Millwall – and I was playing for them.”

– Sam Allardyce on being told a supporter had been stabbed at the West Ham v Millwall game.

“In my life persecution is normal. I just take it. Liposuction? Whatever. I am the news.”

– The Brazilian Ronaldo, tired of rumours about weight reduction operations and the like.

Political football

“If I was choosing the formation I would play Clarence Seedorf in the hole, Pato as the main striker with Ronaldinho as second striker.”

– Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi standing by his word not to interfere in footballing matters at the club he owns, AC Milan.

“The result speaks for itself. There’s no discussion.”

– Jose Mourinho after his Inter Milan side hammered AC Milan 4-0. Silvio might need to make some changes.

O'Neill adrift in generation game

EVERTON CAPTAIN Phil Neville showed his age a bit last week when he bemoaned the reluctance of young players to stay on in training to work on their game, so eager were they to get back home to play with their “PlayStations and bloody Nintendos”.

Martin O’Neill, too, is flummoxed by the youth of today’s love of computery-type games, the Aston Villa manager identifying them as the source of criticism he’s getting from the club’s own supporters.

“I didn’t realise until recently there was a game called Championship Manager,” he said. “There’s people up all night doing this and then they drop you a letter and want to know why you haven’t signed Jimmy McHagen from Real Sociedad. When in actual fact Jimmy died four years earlier. And then you could have got him for 2.5 million when his price on the thing was 6.5 million. It’s great.”

Adebayor bags Ronaldo's pad

THESE, OF course, aren’t the best of days to be an estate agent, unless of course you work in or around Manchester. When Cristiano Ronaldo set sail for Madrid this summer he left behind him a seven-bed pad in Alderley Edge which he had bought for €4.5 million early last year.

If his estate agent fretted about being able to sell the house he hadn’t banked on Manchester City’s spending spree. Word has it that Emmanuel Adebayor, Kolo Toure, Gareth Barry and Carlos Tevez (who had to vacate the house provided for him by United) all put in bids for the mansion, a battle that was joined by Antonio Valencia, who United signed from Wigan.

According to The Sun, Adebayor triumphed, his bid of €6.25m winning out, giving Ronaldo a tasty profit. The indoor pool, jacuzzi, gym and cinema room are all in good shape, although Adebayor will probably want to replace the window Ronaldo had "modified with metal bars to spell out 'CR7'". 'EA25' will look smarter.

More quotes of the week

“We’ll probably ride out in the sunset together.”

– Alex Ferguson revealing that his retirement plans include a horse and Arsene Wenger.

“It was Old Trafford-ish. We know how things work.”

– Arsene Wenger on the clear-cut-ish penalty awarded to Manchester United on Saturday.

“My mum actually taught me to knit. I knitted my teddy bear a jumper, I couldn’t round off though.”

– If David James couldn’t round off does that mean the jumper’s still a work in progress? Must be a whopper of a teddy.

“Millwall may have bowed out of the Carling Cup but left Upton Park with their heads held high.”

– As seen on the official Millwall website. Seriously.