Court jester ready to turn enforcer

DONNCHA O'CALLAGHAN INTERVIEW: Gavin Cummiskeytalks to the Munster man as he prepares to face England at Twickenham on Saturday after recovering from damaged medial knee ligaments.

THE GREAT comedians have always carried a darker edge just beneath the surface. After a four-week lay-off in peak season, Donncha O’Callaghan’s infectious sense of humour will be replaced by a ferociousness come 4pm at Twickenham on Saturday.

The man with a dual role of jester and enforcer in the Irish camp proved a highly-conspicuous absentee while rehabbing damaged medial knee ligaments.

It was a rare interruption of a 58-cap run dating back to 2003 for the judge, jury and collector of fines within the privacy of the team room. “Seeing the lads run out the last two times was really tough,” said the 30-year-old.

“I wouldn’t have said I ever took it for granted before but it just bangs home how much it means to you and how proud you are to run out with the Irish team. It’s all that matters to me. It’s everything.”

Considering Leo Cullen’s impressive all-round display against Italy was repeated in Paris, a presumption existed that O’Callaghan would be sprung from the bench as the Twickenham battle nears its crescendo.

All coach Declan Kidney would tell us about this tight selection call was his vantage point of recent training sessions prompted the realignment of the Munster engine room. Kidney described it as an “opportunity cost” scenario. Simplified further, perhaps Cullen’s technical excellence has been sacrificed for O’Callaghan’s natural viciousness (Those who followed the AIL’s brief golden era will remember elder sibling Ultan O’Callaghan ploughing fields for Cork Constitution).

Or maybe O’Callaghan is due the opportunity to scratch an itch from last summer – also known as the 36-year-old Simon Shaw – after an enforced spell in purgatory.

“To be honest with you I’ve been completely selfish these past three weeks, trying to get myself in the best condition as I could. Robbing time with the physios. I got a week (of warm weather training) in Lanzarote with Munster which was brilliant for me. (Strength and conditioning coach) Paul Darbyshire had me up boxing at seven in the morning and swimming at seven in the evening. I realised I’m no boxer and no swimmer so I’m glad to be back playing ball.”

Locking down beside the Munster and Lions’ captain has always kept O’Callaghan in the shade. There is that iconic picture of Paul O’Connell soaring into the Croke Park night on that historic occasion in 2007.

The crowd envelopes the lineout, the scoreboard shining: Ireland 26 England 3. Along with John Hayes, it is O’Callaghan launching the fully stretched O’Connell into the upper tier of GAA headquarters. You need to watch the corner of your screens, slow down replays, to see his unrelenting hard labour.

At Tuesday’s media day in Killiney, an English reporter mentioned “feeding ducks in training sessions and taking Lobsters for walks, ” in reference to his antics in camp. It may be “apocryphal” but how important is the need to let that, clearly hilarious, side of his personality radiate?

The joker card must be explained once again. “There are definitely times to knock off and relax but when it comes to rugby time I don’t think there would be anyone who takes their job as serious. I think it is a hugely important thing that you can split the two. If I stayed tuned in to rugby the whole time I would go crazy so I need a little bit of time to unwind and have a bit of craic. All those stories are made up. That’s O’Connell looking to divert and cause trouble and blame someone else.”

O’Connell made an unwise attempt to sink him on the Late, Late Show recently with a reference to a, clearly untrue, sun-bed addiction. “He said some very nice things but I think everyone just remembers him slagging me over my Leaving Cert and fake tan . . . I think it is clear to see he is jealous. I suppose that’s just a normal day in our changing-room. The only disaster about that was it was in front of the whole country. Paulie is just jealous. He has no hair, no tan, no teeth. Look at the two of us; it is clear to see who the better secondrow is. (I mean) better-looking secondrow.”