Couple ruled offside

We've heard of couples getting married in football grounds all right but events at Carlisle United last week took the world of football and romance into previously uncharted territory.

The third division club's close-circuit television cameras spotted a couple in their 40s being, well, amorous on the centre-spot at Brunton Park. The police were promptly called but, it seems, weren't entirely sure what to charge the couple with so just asked them to cool down and move along. Upon hearing that the male half of the couple was a Carlisle United season-ticket holder whose lifetime's ambition was to, well, be amorous with his loved one on the centre-spot at Brunton Park, the club kindly offered the couple a video of their romantic rendezvous, as filmed by their CCTV camera. And no, copies aren't available.