Christmas comes early for our hero out on the Bull

Against the odds: Vinny Fitzpatrick was a bundle of nerves as he stood on the first tee at St Anne's in Dollymount. To his left, the clubhouse encroached into his eye-line; to his right, as playing partners Dinny, Dave and Fran had just reminded him, was out of bounds.

As he waggled his driver Vinny tried to imagine a swing like Ernie Els. Smooth, languid, yet powerful. He'd backed Ernie to win the Nedbank Challenge over the weekend but lost, continuing a rough run.

No matter, he'd just got himself set right when Dinny shouted: "Mind the car."

Vinny looked up as a car flashed past, directly in front of the first tee. What a place to put a road, Vinny thought.

By now, his mind was all over the shop. He knew he was going to make a pig's ear of the drive. As someone once said, "There are no such things as bravery; just degrees of fear." And Vinny was afraid, very afraid.

The tee-shot was a low, ugly snap-hook which missed the clubhouse by inches, slammed into a greenkeeper's mower and ricocheted back into the fairway.

"Could be your day, Vinny," grinned Fran.

The final outing of Foley's Golf Society didn't usually matter to Vinny. A perennial high-handicapper, he hoped to figure in his class; if not, there were picky-out prizes for the non-winners.

But this year Vinny had stunned himself and his fellow members by playing well. With scores of 32 Stableford points in the Easter Bunny Hop at Forrest Little, 34 in the Captain's Prize in Howth, 31 in the President's Prize at Clontarf and 29 in the Hallowe'en Howler at Corballis, Vinny was leading the Golfer of the Year.

Vinny, a proud 28-handicapper, who carried eight woods in his bag because he couldn't hit an iron, had never won an outing. Yet, here he was, in the final fourball at St Anne's, squaring up to the only three lads who could catch him.

There was Dinny, a garda who played off 10 and hit the ball miles; Dave, Angie's boss in Boru Betting, who played off 17 and putted like Bob Charles.

And finally Fran, his good friend, who ran a dry-cleaning business and was a handy 21.

Any one of them could win.

Vinny, who was leading by one point overall from Dinny and by three from Dave and Fran, was expected to crack first.

Macker had offered 3 to 1 against Vinny hanging on in Foley's the night before but nobody nibbled. In contrast, the 6 to 4 against Dinny led to a stampede.

As he walked towards his ball on the first, noting how "it glowed a lonely white", just as John Betjeman described in "Seaside Golf", Vinny tried to put things into perspective.

What was the worst thing that could happen? He'd play lousy. So what? He'd still have the company of his mates in Foley's later. No one was going to get hurt.

And yet Vinny badly wanted to win. For starters, the Golfer of the Year had his name embossed in gold-leaf lettering on the Society notice board in Foley's, which meant perpetual fame - something Vinny, for his shyness, secretly craved.

Second, the GOY was sponsored by Boru Betting, who were putting up a €200 betting voucher for the winner - a sum that could tide Vinny over the hectic Christmas betting period.

Third, as Dave was involved in the scramble for honours, Angie was presenting the trophy and the cheque in Foley's that night.

Since her appearance at the cards night the previous week, Vinny hadn't stopped thinking about Angie. He'd even tried to engage her in conversation when he went in on Saturday to have €20 on Arie Haan at 16 to 1 to become the next Irish manager, but ended up talking double Dutch, as usual.

By now, Vinny had arrived on the first green in four shots with a long, snaking putt for par.

Now, putting was something Vinny was good at. Since his late Da, Finbarr, had taken him to the pitch and putt at Campion's in Balgriffin on Sunday mornings, he'd an eye for the short game.

He lagged up for a tap-in bogey. Two points were in the bag. He was off.

Four hours later, the Wrecking Crew, as Vinny dubbed them, stood on the final tee. The Golfer of the Year was a two-horse race. Vinny, thanks to inspired chipping and putting, had amassed 30 points, in spite of hooking on to the roof of the clubhouse at the seventh, and going out of bounds at the 11th.

Dinny was on 30 points too, while Dave and Fran were tailed off. With his handicap, Vinny could take one shot more than Dinny on the last and still win.

The 18th at St Anne's is a par four, slight dog-leg left, with a semi-blind tee-shot. With the wind helping, Dinny had the honour and smashed his drive down the middle.

Vinny took aim on the lone tree in the distance and prayed for a good swing. Instead, he sliced and watched in dismay as the breeze caught his ball and swept it into a hillock of deep rough away to the right.

Fran helped Vinny look for his ball. It was buried. "No heroics, just get it in play," said Fran.

A mighty hack later, Vinny was in the light rough. He then smacked a rescue club in the direction of the green some 200 yards away. He'd played three to Dinny's one. "I wouldn't back myself if you gave me 10s," he said to Fran.

Dinny clipped a mid-iron towards the flag, the ball coming to rest four paces from the pin.

Assuming Dinny holed for a three, Vinny had to chip in for par for glory. If Betfair were betting in-running he was about 100 to 1, he reckoned.

A knot of Foley's regulars gathered around the green, Macker and Brennie among them. The bush telegraph had kept everyone informed. Vinny marked out his chip: he was 15 yards from the pin.

As he addressed the ball, Vinny felt a strange sort of calm. He couldn't hear the wind whipping the flag, didn't see the plume of smoke rising from Macker's fag, didn't notice the smile playing on Dinny's lips.

He imagined he was back playing pitch and putt at Campion's with his Da.

Holding the club like a feather, he cocked his wrists and played the shot. The ball released, low and fast. It bumped and ran towards the hole.

The line was good, but surely the ball was moving too fast. It rapped the pin squarely, jumped up and then disappeared into the cup.

Improbably, greatness had been thrust upon Vinny Fitzpatrick.

Bets of the week

• 2pts Germany to win Euro 2008 (4/1 Paddy Power).
• 1pt e/w Louis Oosthuizen in Alfred Dunhill Championship (28/1 Boylesports).

Vinny's Bismarck

• Lay 2pts Fabio Capello (right) to become next England manager (5/2 General, Liability 3pts)