Chants of the week

"Big Jaap Stam is a big Dutch man, get past him if you can, try a little trick and you'll look a ****, Yip-yap, Jaap Stam."

- Manchester United fans last Wednesday night.

"Are you Notts County in disguise?"

- The same United fans confuse Juventus with the Nottingham giants.

"Stevie Bould, Stevie Bould, Stevie, Stevie Bould, he's got no hair, but we don't care, Stevie, Stevie Bould."

- Arsenal fans forgive Steve Bould for his hair deficiency.

"Kanu hear Arsenal sing? Kanu! Kanu!"

- Arsenal fans again, after Nwankwo Kanu scored a half decent goal (his second) against Middlesborough on Saturday.