A Round and About

Gary Cooke Member of the Aprés Match team, who have been a regular part of RTÉ's coverage of the World Cup.

Earliest golfing memory?

The local pitch-and-putt course. If you walked there okay, if you arrived on a bike it was f*** off. You could steal the clubs if you had a bike.

First golfing victory?

Hitting the ball straight

First time to break 90?

I don't honestly think I've ever done that

Last bit of golf equipment?

I bought a 12.5-degree giant driver. It says on the blurb that it has "extraordinary forgiveness". It's basically a bungalow on the end of a stick.

Last time you took a golf cart and why?

The Old Head of Kinsale. I won a prize to play it and asked about golf buggies. I was met by a look of anger. "Caddies," he growled. But I got a buggy anyway and it gave up on the 12th hole.

Last time you uttered an obscenity on a golf course?

I'm fairly immature. I thought that if I swear I'll do it in style. Usually it's "catzoni" or "shizer". That's Italian and German, I think.

Which of the majors would you like to attend and why?

The British Open probably. It's the first one I became aware of. Or the USPGA, but it's full of noisy Americans.

Ideal fourball: who and where?

David Burke and his brother John and Peter Hayden. You don't know them? Yeah, because they're all my mates.

One last round on earth?

I've just joined Sutton. It's nine holes so at least I'd be in a fitter state to die.

Ralph Lauren or Lyle & Scott?

Neither, actually.

Is the Titleist ProV1 worth the extra expense?

Not for me. Unless they made them consistently straight for someone with a s**t swing.

Best golf-club food. Where?

Nosh in Powerscourt was quite good. I was soaking wet at the time. Anything that took my mind off that would have been good.

One hundred and forty yards out from green. Flat. Calm. What's in your hand?

Seven iron, if I hit it well. Add a good lie into that.

Favourite club in times of crisis?

For some reason, a six iron. I use a six iron on par fives because four good hits and you're there. It's not a bad way of doing it.

Parkland or links?

Links. There's a sense of history. The soil is also nicer and they are not wannabe loads of nonsense with cash coming out of them.

Must-see golfing destination?

Haven't been. Top one in Hawaii looks good. I've been to Spain and it looks like every and any piece of land will do. But I'm sure there are nice ones there.

Hidden gem?

The Island. It's well known but people don't talk as much about it as these other places in your face.

One Mulligan in life?

Here's a story. I was supposed to play tennis with Denis Brennan. The night before the game I ended up on the beer so I rang him and said, "No, Denis, no play today."

It was around the time that all those big names were in Dublin for a tennis event (Trilogy).

Later the next day I got a phone call back saying that on the court right next to where was I supposed to have played but cancelled because I was drinking, Anna Kournikova had been practising.

I robbed Denis and myself of a chance to play alongside Anna Kournikova!

I'd like to take that one again.