Bob Geldof murdered Michael Hutchence. That bastard killed Michael. He is called saint Bob. That makes me sick.
- Paula Yates, whose partner, Hutchence, was found hanged in his hotel suite in Sydney last Saturday
I do quite well recall a very famous speech by Deputy Rabbitte here in the House regarding me seeing criminals on hedgerows on my journey to Dublin from Cahirciveen. May I say that in the meanwhile, from behind the darkened windows of a State Mercedes, the red band of the Rainbow saw no problem.
- The Minister for Justice, John O`Donoghue, to Pat Rabbitte (DL), in Dail exchanges over the handling of the drug suspects court releases
While you are Minister for Justice in this country, crime will pay.
- Andrew Boylan (FG)
Is the purpose of the Teletubbies really educational or do I detect commercial greed?
- Letter in the Daily Telegraph allegedly written by two-year-old Carolyn Burton, of Anglesey, Wales
Me a sex symbol? How fantastic. I think of myself as a scarecrow, so how other people see me is a peculiar revelation.
- Actor Richard E. Grant
I am a bit like Queen Victoria, who loved sex and didn't like having children but could never bring herself to practise the rhythm method.
- Actress Helen Mirren
Unless this rocket man comes down in price, we will be taking a walk down the yellow brick road on this one.
- Publisher's spokesman Andrew Giangolla on claims that Elton John's manager is seeking £8 million for his life story
Tony Blair is not exactly what you'd call a hunk, but women love him. If he has ears like Dumbo, it's simply to hear better. If he's losing his hair, it's simply to make him more masculine.
- French magazine Elle
I recently became a partner in a wine business, purely a sleeping partner, although someone unkindly said I was sometimes more of a comatose one.
- Soccer legend George Best
When you get a journalist, particularly a sports journalist who tries to make political comment - a sports journalist usually with the intellectual span of a Polo mint - I feel pretty annoyed.
- British Sports Minister, Tony Banks
It's about time this bloody thing was examined and a mechanism put in place to deal with the abuse.
- FF backbench TD Ivor Callely on what he termed "rogue" asylum seekers who should be "kicked out" of Ireland
Smoked salmon socialists.
- Fianna Fail deputies to the Labour leader, Ruairi Quinn, who demanded that the Taoiseach instruct Mr Callely to withdraw his remarks
Prozac is the drug of choice for glum PC sentimentalists unable to face the spiritual deficiencies at the heart of their own decaying liberalism.
- Camille Paglia, US feminist icon
Oasis are talentless. They can't sing, they don't understand harmony. There are no original melodies, it's all composed to a formula. You have these beleaguered oafish characters which strike a chord in people - like the prime minister, for instance.
- Roger Scruton, professor of aesthetics, in a lecture at Cambridge University
I don't think I'd looked forward to a game so much. I couldn't wait for it to start then couldn't wait for it to end.
- Sheffield Wednesday manager Ron Atkinson after his new reign began with a 2-0 win over Arsenal
Do not eat packaging.
- Printed warning on a packet of pepperoni