Perversional Sinn Féin chief sets (stuck) record straight

NEWTON'S OPTIC: THE IRISH TIMESput a series of questions to Gary Eves, President for Life of Perversional Sinn Féin. He has replied as follows:

Q: When did you first become aware of the allegations?

A: It is not a simple matter of when I first became aware. My awareness developed through a process which began with the first allegation and will presumably end with the last allegation, notwithstanding anything I may or may not become aware of inter alia ipso facto.

Q: Why were you photographed with the

alleged culprits after

accepting their guilt?

A: Refusing to be photographed would have raised suspicions about their guilt, which I had accepted, but which I did not want to raise suspicions about, as that would have been unacceptable.

Q: Could you have taken firmer action against those responsible?

It is not for Perversional Sinn Féin to take action or to determine who is responsible. That is a job for the police, as long as the alleged incidents occurred after our recognition of the police in 2007.

Q: Had you developed an awareness of any incidents prior to 2007?

A: There is no record containing that information. Our records do not go back that far. We must stick to what we have on record. I am a stuck record.

Q: Were any internal disciplinary measures taken?

A: I may have moved to dump some members out of the party, which can mean moving them to a dump like Dundalk to help run the party. Other members may have been suspended without notice, which can mean suspending them without notifying anyone. I refute the suggestion that this contradicts any of my previous suggestions.

Q: Do you know the difference between refuting and denying?

A: I both refute and deny not knowing the difference between refuting and denying.

Q: Can you place these events in a sequence that would not require you to have had access to a time machine?

A: Why should an Irish republican not have access to a time machine?

That is the sort of rejectionist thinking which has kept this community down for the past 800 years, or however long it is since I last visited 1169.

Q: Why can nobody remember any of the warnings you claim to have made about the culprits?

A: In answer to that, and I will come to the substance of your question shortly, I would just like to mention my own father’s memory problems which may have had a terrible impact upon me personally, although obviously I can’t remember.

However, I would ask you to respect my privacy with regard to this difficult subject. Could I have a tissue?

Q: The victims have accused you of indifference, arrogance and palming them off with endless futile meetings. How do you respond to that?

A: I would just like to say to those people that my door is always open and they are very welcome to come in and talk through their feelings, so that we can all gain a better understanding of how they are being used by my political opponents.

Q: So you feel that more openness could help those affected?

A: I have been advised to refer all further questions on openness to my solicitor.